[ALDUB Welcomes 2016 Featured Image from Eat Bulaga Facebook Page.] The ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode opens to the tune of Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5”. Donya Tinidora has reconnected with the Cuando Cuando Cuando. But they were not wearing their white barongs. There wasn’t even a ladder in sight. Instead of a ladder, the Cuando Cuando Cuando held broomsticks. Donya Tinidora told them to sweep the remnants of the New Year’s Eve revelry. There was an effort to change the dance music background too. An attempt Donya Tinidora earlier tried at the ALDUB Where To Go episode.
The KalyeSerye commentators immediately asked why the Cuando Cuando Cuando are not wearing their barongs. Donya Tinidora had difficulty answering the question. It took forever for the remote crew to find a microphone where she can talk. “Ngayon lang dumating ang mic. Naulanan eh.” (The mic just arrived. It got rained.) The monsoon rain caused some NYE parties to cut short. Now the Cuando Cuando Cuando had to wear regular street wear. It made them look a little like street urchins at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
Donya Tinidora imposed cleanliness since most of the mess were from their revelry too. “Yung mga pinag-iwanan ng mga paputok nyo kagabi. Ano pa? Linis, boys. Wala na nga tayong bahay eh.” (Clean up the mess from your firecrackers. What else? Clean, boys. To think that we’re homelss.) No word on the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 as to what happened to the house they ended up renting at the ALDUB Bagong Simula episode. Donya Tidora and Lola Nidora arrived as Donya Tinidora was taking charge of the clean up.
Donya Tinidora saw some triangle cartons. She picked up one of them. Donya Tidora tried to stop her. “Wag nyong pulutin yan!” (Don’t pick them up!) Lola Nidora thought of an alternative remedy as opposed to picking them up. “Basain yan!” (Get them wet!) Several accidents were already reported on mainstream media from picking up stray triangle cartons that ended up loaded. A safety measure that got interjected into the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode just in time.
According to Donya Tinidora, Lola Nidora’s entourage now lived at some random bumper she called SAUNA (SAUNAhan ng jeep). Then Lola Nidora somewhat scolded Donya Tinidora for being out of the house for so long. [Either Wally Bayola used the wrong term in their improv routine or “bahay” is a term used in referring to “abode” at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.] Donya Tinidora snapped at Lola Nidora. “Pano mawawala sa bahay? Wala naman tayong bahay.” (How will I be out of the house? We don’t have a house.)
Lola Nidora is happy for the New Year. But she didn’t like Donya Tinidora’s way of making noise at the New Year celebration. “Nagbi-videoke ka na naman. Ang ingay ingay.” (You’re singing at the videoke again. It’s so noisy.) Just like most Filipinos. Donya Tinidora took pride in participating in efforts meant to attract luck prior to the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
Speaking of luck, YayaDUB arrived wearing her polka dotted apron. Everyone then remembered to congratulate YayaDUB/Maine Mendoza for winning the Best Supporting Actress Award at the 2015 Metro Manila Film Festival for her role as Anna at “My Bebe Love”. [Maine Mendoza has delivered her speech at the beginning of the New Year episode of Eat Bulaga. She was out of the country on vacation at the time when the award was given. So she only got to deliver her thanksgiving speech almost an hour before the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.]
Donya Tinidora credited the Kalye’s Angels for Maine’s acting talent. “Galing niyang umarti. Kasi ang mga lola niya, ang arti arti.” (She can act great. Because her grannies act hissy fits well.) Also, she credited her luck to her face. “Maswerte ako sa inyo. Polka dots ang mukha ko.” (I’m luckier than you. The polka dots are on my face.) Lola Nidora downplayed the role of luck at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. “Kahit naka-polka dot ka. Kahit anong pampaswerte mo, kung tatamad-tamad ka naman, wala rin.” (Even if you have polka dots. Even if you have lucky charms, if you are lazy, it’s useless.)
Later, YayaDUB and Lola Nidora were whispering to each other. The audience and the viewers can’t decipher the words. They sounded like chipmunks when whispering to each other’s ear. It’s obviously a happy plan. YayaDUB later DUBsmashed Maja Salvador’s “Kilig”. Alden then appeared on the other monitor in the middle of YayaDUB’s happiness at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. It resulted in another DUBsmash exchange. Donya Tinidora just had a minor issue at YayaDUB’s DUBsmash of “Pangako Sa Yo”. [Great.]
Alden obviously learned some tips from Boss Joey de Leon. Even if Boss Joey was absent at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Alden remembered to ask Lola Nidora. “Kumusta po si Dora?” Lola Nidora has a ready answer for Dok Dora De Explorer’s absence. “Ang daming ginamot. Mga naputukan.” (She’s on call. Many of them are firecracker victims.) Alden then asked what is she discussing with YayaDUB. Lola Nidora was nonchalant in saying. “Wala kaming sinasabing isu-surprise ka namin.” (We’re not saying that we’re planning to surprise you.) This, despite YayaDUB’s request to keep it a secret from Alden.
Donya Tinidora commented why it was easy to catch Lola Nidora. “Ang isda nahuhuli sa sariling bibig.” (A fish is caught by its own mouth.) YayaDUB tried to change the subject. “Puyat ka ba? Pinanood kita kagabi eh.” (Did you lack sleep? I watched you last night.) [Alden was one of the performers at GMA Network’s NYE Countdown to 2016. He then found enough energy to show up at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.] Alden stuck to the topic. “Wag mo kong i-surprise ha?” (Don’t surprise me, okay?) YayaDUB denied any surprise plan. “Wag kang mag-assume.” (Don’t assume.) Alden then mentioned why. “Ikaw lang, solve na ko eh.” (You alone gets it solved.)
Later, Alden asked YayaDUB on what is the best thing that ever happened to her. YayaDUB suggested that he use his clipboards. “Gusto ko fan sign.” (I want a fan sign.) They then wrote on their respective clipboards and showed the sign at the count of three. Both clipboards showed “Ikaw” (You). It resulted in Alden DUBsmashing to another cover of Yeng Constantino’s “Ikaw”.
They tried to update each other at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Alden asked YayaDUB first. “Nag-enjoy ka ba sa Japan?” (Did you enjoy your stay at Japan?) YayaDUB shot back with a question of her own. “Ikaw? Nag-enjoy ka ba sa Batangas?” (How about you? Did you enjoy your stay at Batangas?) Alden was quick to reply. “Oo. Nag-enjoy ako manood ng mga video mo.” (Yes. I enjoyed watching your videos.) Prior to resuming to the live telecast airing the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Maine Mendoza recorded another set of DUBsmash videos while roaming Japan.
There was some bitterness at Donya Tinidora’s tone. “Ang apo natin nasa Japan, tayo nasa kalsada.” (Our grand-child is in Japan while we are on the streets.) The KalyeSerye commentary panel tried to separate reel from real by correcting “Japan” to “Gapan” (a municipality in the province of Nueva Ecija). Alden then informed them that his den is now ready for them to occupy as of the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. “Pina-renovate ko po ang lungga ko. Naka-L-L na po eh. Gusto nyo po dito muna kayo?” (I had my den renovated. I had some extra funds for renovation purposes. Would you like to stay here for the meantime?)
Donya Tinidora is skeptical. “Paano kami matutulog? Nakatayo?” (How will we sleep? Standing?) The KalyeSerye commentary panel suggested some nails to serve as nose hooks while the grannies sleep in standing position at Alden’s den. The thought alone pained Lola Nidora. “Ayoko. Mapupunit ang ilong ko.” (No. It will tear my nose.) This time at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Lola Nidora turned down the help not out of principle. But out of avoiding further inconvenience.
Alden then brought up the surprise again at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Lola Nidora was skeptical if the surprise will push through. “May gustong gawin si Yaya, Kaso kulang ang pera.” (Nanny would like to do something. But we lack money.) Senator Tito had a suggestion though. “Tawagan nyo si Dodong.” (Call Dodong.) Alden didn’t need much though. “Puedeng kiss na lang?” (May I have a kiss instead?) That snapped Lola Nidora. “Anong kiss?” (What kiss?) Senator Tito then quipped a spoiler at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
Bossing Vic then repeated what Dodong said at the ALDUB Ang Pagtatagpo episode. “Aalis siya. Matagal na panahon bago siya makabalik. Kasi aasikasuhin ang asawa niya.” (He will leave. It will take a long time before he returns. Because he has to attend to his wife.) YayaDUB then begged to borrow money for Alden’s surprise. Alden then insisted on knowing through Lola Nidora. “Ano ba yung surprise, Lola? Ako? Madali naman po akong kausap. Puedeng kiss.” (What is the surprise, granny? Me? I am easy to talk to. A kiss will do.) Lola Nidora still is not lenient as of the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. “Bawal ang kiss!” (No kiss allowed.) Alden then reiterated that he’s just kidding.
Bossing Vic then offered them a solution at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. “Sumali kayo sa Bulagaan mamaya. May premyo ang pinakamataas ang grade.” (Join the Bulagaan later. Whoever gets the highest grade gets the prize.) [Bulagaan is Eat Bulaga’s longest running segment in their 36-year history. As of late, Eat Bulaga only presents the Bulagaan segment in special occasions like their New Year episodes. It originally featured comedy skits and ended with the classroom setting. The student body then is composed of Eat Bulaga’s resident hosts. The teacher is often played by Tito Sotto way back when he is not yet in Philippine politics. Since much of the humor in Bulagaan is elicited from the knock knock jokes. Bulagaan is the perfect opportunity for including Alden and Maine into this special segment.]
A thick wad of cash was then shown by Senator Tito onscreen. It was enough for the Kalye’s Angels to agree participating in Bulagaan. Donya Tinidora was so eager to participate. She was already dishing out knock knock jokes. “Knock knock.” Bossing Vic replied. “Who’s there?” Donya Tinidora continued. “Nanay ni Wally.” At the cue of “Nanay ni Wally who?” Donya Tinidora sang “Nanay ni Wally na ako sa forever magmula nang makilala kita” to the tune of JaDine’s “Bahala Na”. Donya Tinidora ended up looking more excited than YayaDUB at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
Lola Nidora then remembered to ask Allan K. “Mareng Allan, anong year ngayon?” (What year is it?) Allan K replied. “2016.” Lola Nidora pressed further. “Year of the?” Allan K didn’t mind replying. “Monkey.” Bossing Vic dared Allan K’s patience further. “Year of the Monkey raw eh. Year of the Talking Monkey.” It can mean something good for Allan K though. But it’s too early to conclude at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
They were having this banter as Bossing Vic drew the lot for the next Sugod Bahay winner. Donya Tidora had a different hypothesis. “Baka manalo si Allan. Year of the Monkey eh.” (Allan might win. It’s the Year of the Monkey.) The Sugod Bahay errand pushed through with YayaDUB participating in the house visit herself at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. And cut to commercial before the Bulagaan segment.
After the Sugod-Bahay errand and the commercial break, the stage was set for the Bulagaan. The ALDUB Welcomes 2016 might be one of the rare episodes having a Bulagaan segment. One of the hit instructors returned in action – Ms. Dizon (Ryzza Mae as the mini-me version of Miss Tapia). This was supported by Senator Tito’s statement. “Promoted na ko. Di na ko teacher.” (I already got promoted. I’m no longer your teacher.) Still, Ms. Dizon acknowledged his presence. “At siempre kasama natin ang principal.” (Of course the principal is here with us.)
Ms. Dizon then introduced the other teacher that would be joining them. Mr. Bebe Love Vic Sotto. For Bulagaan, the students addressed him as Mr. Bebe Love. It served as a throwback to his Iskul Bukol character, Victorio Ungasis. The Kalye’s Angels arrived shortly. They entered the “classroom” in the middle of Ms. Dizon’s attendance check. But not before telling the tricycle driver. “Mamaya na ang bayad pag nanalo kami ha?” (We’d pay you later after we win, okay?) The resident dabarkads almost forgot the poverty that the House of De Explorer fell into due to the SUV horn’s sound.
The shortcut to the stage from behind was at Alden’s den. So the grannies ended up having a grand entrance. It explained how Alden’s entrance at ATM with the Baes segment was exciting and attention-grabbing. Donya Tinidora went straight to business. “Nasan na po yung papremyo?” (Where’s the prize?) Almost everyone present at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 were in unison in telling her. “Wala pa.” (There isn’t any yet.) The moment Ms. Dizon checked on the attendance of YayaDUB and Alden. YayaDUB was seen from the parking lot entrance running to Broadway.
Ms. Dizon addressed them as she saw their names on her attendance sheet. “Divina Ursula Bocbocoba Smash and Alden Richards.” Alden was already close to the stairs carrying YayaDUB’s uniform. He helped her dress up. Lola Nidora almost got worried. But all that YayaDUB had to do is put on the uniform on top of her outfit. Donya Tinidora almost scolded her. “Bagal bagal mo, hija. Nauna tuloy kami.” (You’re so slow, dear. We ended up arriving ahead of you.) Alden and YayaDUB ended up becoming seatmates at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode.
Maximum number of members per performance was 4. The theme for this Bulagaan is the Top Newsmakers of 2015. So Allan K ended up in the recitation with Ryan Agoncillo, Sam YG and Anjo Yllana. Their performance grade is 30. It was a randomly selected grade from the turning wheel. Not a grade provided by either Ms. Dizon, Mr. Bebe Love or Senator Tito. The presence of the “roleta” (turning wheel) at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 is a sign of retaining Eat Bulaga traditions.
Bossing Vic’s fiance, Pauleen Luna, performed with HBD Girl Patricia, Ruby Rodriguez and Pia Guanio. They earned a grade of 90. Once it’s the grannies’ turn to perform, they were addressed as “visitors from the Kalye”. Donya Tinidora even tried to flirt with Mr. Bebe Love hoping for a grade higher than 90. After they performed their skit, they earned a grade of 10. Being the new class goats, Allan K, Ryan, Sam and Anjo were let go from the “gurney”. The grannies then were secured to replace the former class goats at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. All that is left for Donya Tinidora to do is snap. “Wala kayong galang sa matatanda ha? Tali nyo kami. “(You have no respect for elders. Tie us up.)
The crowd went wild once it’s the turn of Alden and YayaDUB. Finally a venue for their knock knock jokes. Allan K can’t help himself but ask YayaDUB though. “Kung bumalik ka sa Japan, san mo ipapasyal si Alden?” (If you go back to Japan, where would you take Alden?) It took awhile for YayaDUB to reply since Alden had been there this year during the GMA Pinoy TV Anniversary tour. An absence highlighted in the EB Dabarkads Pa More episode. Then YayaDUB answered by addressing Alden at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. “Dadalhin kita sa Osaka. Kain tayo ramen tapos katsudon.” (I’d take you to Osaka. We’d eat ramen and katsudon.) [Suggestion: An episode where Alden and Maine goes to Japan together.]
After reminiscing Maine Mendoza’s trip to Japan, Alden and YayaDUB sang together. Not too long, not too short. Just right for the grade to follow: 50. Donya Tinidora was about to protest either their “gurney” status or the inability to get the prize. Mr. Bebe Love was more practical in explaining th situation though. “You want money? Get the highest grade.” Disgruntled, Donya Tinidora ran away with the thick wad of cash. She ended up avoiding the pie battle that ensued at Bulagaan.
The pie battle is originallly a pie punishment stint for the class goats or students that earned the lowest scores in the recitation skit of the Bulagaan. But it ended up as a “baptism of pie” (as opposed to “baptism of fire”) for Maine Mendoza. She ended up having more pie than the supposed class goats, the Kalye’s Angels. Things happened so fast. She didn’t even get to wear her headcap. But it was all good. Alden and YayaDUB were both into the pie battle. The remaining grannies, Lola Nidora and Donya Tidora, didn’t wear headcaps either. But their wigs were almost untouched at the ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode. Eat Bulaga’s social media accounts got flooded with likes, shares and retweets once the photos are out.
To view all of the Bulagaan aftermath photos. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page and follow them on Twitter. The ALDUB Welcomes 2016 episode replay is at their Facebook page for your entertainment.
Overall, a very fun way to kick off 2016 as Eat Bulaga through ALDUB Welcomes 2016. The Bulagaan segment is now a limited edition special. It has gotten hard to guess when would the next Bulagaan be. [Safest guess is same time next year.] Maine Mendoza was such a good sport after the Bulagaan segment. The camera panned to her dancing about while covered with white icing. Best way to celebrate the first day of 2016 indeed. More episode recaps and analytical articles to come. So make sure that you like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter too. We’d be expecting you.