ALDUB The BAE is BACK [Song Tracks Included]

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[ALDUB The BAE is Back Featured Image from Eat Bulaga Facebook Page.] Earlier at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. Lola Nidora was trying to convince Donya Tinidora that she’s okay. “Ayos naman ako.” (I am okay.) Donya Tinidora is not convinced. “Akala mo lang yun.” (That’s what you thought.) She was taken to the hospital at the previous episode, ALDUB Cares. With her medication supply running out. Divina has decided to join a nearby beauty pageant to win enough cash to replenish Lola Nidora’s medicine kit.

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: @MaiDenHeavenOFC

Donya Tidora arrived with some clothes for Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB to choose for her pageant gig. Much of what she walked wasn’t seen on camera. “Naglalakad ako, walang camera.” (Been walking only to find no camera.) She was a little late claiming that she attended the premiere of Paolo Ballesteros’ latest film “Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin” (Go Further Away From Me). It is a parody of Philippine mainstream cinema.

In mentioning “Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin” at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode, she felt bad for Paolo. “Hirap na hirap si Paolo dun.” (Paolo had difficulty [shooting that movie].) Allan K then asked why. Donya Tidora explained. “Lalaki siya dun.” (He played a straight male [in the film].) Allan K then openly wondered. “Lalaki naman si Paolo di ba?” (But Paolo is male, right?) Donya Tidora was blunt enough to voice her concerns. “Ewan ko ba sa baklang yun.” (I don’t know to that confused person.)

[Note: “Bakla” is originally translated as “confused” in English. In old Filipino literature, texts that contain the line “Nababakla ako” gets translated as “I am getting confused”. With the evolution of language, “bakla” has evolved into “gay”. The word “bakla” got used in ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode because until now, everyone is still speculating whether Paolo Ballesteros is gay or not. It has also become a source of inside jokes for the KalyeSerye episodes like ALDUB The BAE is Back episode.]

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: @ImYayaLUVS

Donya Tidora’s taste in clothes is impeccable. Too bad she had to source them from some funeral. It included a piece of clothing that she can’t tell if it’s a skirt or a dress. [A tube dress, maybe.] Donya Tinidora was blunt enough to complain. “Kaya pala ganyan ang amoy.” (No wonder it smelled strange.) Lola Nidora is more concerned if Donya Tidora just stole it from some random pile of clothes. “Baka mamaya, kung saan mo nakuha yan. Me humabol na pulis sa ‘yo.” (You might have gotten it from somewhere. The cops might chase you.) One of the clothes that Donya Tidora brought at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode is an outfit she called the Black Poodle.

Lola Nidora is nervous about Divina again. “Kinakabahan ako kay Divina kung nasaan na. Pag yan ninerbyos, hindi gagalaw.” (I am nervous at where Divina had been. Whenever she’s nervous, she freezes.) Donya Tidora is trying to look for an exit. Senator Tito tried to stop her. “Wala pa yung beauty queen natin.” (Our beauty queen hasn’t arrived yet.)

[Sometimes this worsened state of health mirrored Alden Richards’ real-life grandfather’s hospitalization. The ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode served as its opportunity to mirror said real-life circumstance in Alden’s life.] Lola Nidora’s words somewhat confirmed it. “Hindi na makaisip si Divina kung anong gagawin para may pambili tayo ng gamot.” (Divina is at her wits’ end on what to do just to buy some medicine.)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Tidora had the clothes sorted for Divina for the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. Donya Tinidora and Lola Nidora then went to their Sugod Bahay errand. In between conversation with their latest Sugod Bahay winner. Donya Tidora is shown fixing Divina’s hair. Donya Tinidora spotted them. “Ayun! Inaayusan ng bakla.” (There [is Divina]! Getting her hair and makeup done by the gay guy.) Donya Tidora was seen chuckling without letting go of Divina’s hair.

Allan K came to Paolo’s defense. “Hindi bakla yun. Makeup artist yun.” (That’s not gay. That’s a makeup artist.) A snippet of Divina’s look at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode got everyone else excited. For now, the Kalye’s Angels have a sack of Maharlika rice courtesy of their Sugod Bahay winner’s employer. Donya Tinidora could not hold back her tears of joy.

Senator Tito then went back to Donya Tidora and Divina. “Konting ingat lang sa pagme-makeup. Baka iba maka-mukha niyan.” (Easy on the makeup. She might end up looking like someone else.) And so after the Sugod-Bahay segment. Donya Tidora presented a dry run of the look she wanted Divina to sport. Donya Tinidora begged to delay as they of Lola Nidora hasn’t returned to their spot at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. Donya Tidora just chastised her sisters. “Bilisan nyo maglakad.” (Walk faster.) Donya Tinidora blamed Lola Nidora. “Eto nga! Nagmamadali yung matandang may sakit!” (Here we are! And the sickly old hag is in a hurry!)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

And so Divina was shown wearing a gown with a black balloon skirt, flesh top and sequins to cover the “essentials”. It was the mock beauty pageant at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode after all. She just strutted down the ramp for a few seconds. Donya Tinidora reminded her of the important ramp tidbits. “Pumipitik ang ulo. Konti lang ang pitik. Baka humiwalay yan. Yan!” (Do the swift head turn. Not too swift. Your head might separate from your body. There you go!) She was enjoying her walk at ALDUB The BAE is BACK when Alden finally appeared on the other monitor. The Broadway Centrum crowd went wild.

Alden DUBsmashed “Ikaw ang Ms. Universe ng Buhay Ko” (You Are The Ms. Universe Of My Life). Divina continued walking and then went to the gate. Donya Tinidora stopped her after she realized what Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB was trying to do at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Hoy! Hoy! Hoy! San ka pupunta?” (Where are you going?) Divina admitted what she felt. “Tatakas po. Nahihiya ako eh.” (I want to escape. I feel embarrassed.) The grannies then scolded Divina for feeling embarrassment at this point in the preparations at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

Since both Alden and Divina were preoccupied with the DUBsmash exchange. Alden brought out his clipboard. “Ganda mo ngayon.” (You look beautiful today.) He was DUBsmashing James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful”. Divina responded with her own clipboard message. “Ngayon lang?” (Just now?) Alden then corrected his statement. “Always.” He then DUBsmashed True Faith’s “Dahil Ikaw”. Divina replied through her clipboard at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Maliit na bagay.” (A little thing [to fuss over].)

Alden then reached to his microphone at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Hello, Ms. Universe.” Divina greeted back. “Hello. Kumusta ka na? Pumapayat ka na.” (How are you? You’re losing weight.) Everyone else then picked on Alden’s weight loss. Alden had a ready reply for that. “Nagpapaganda lang po ng katawan.” (I’m just trying to improve my physique.) Everyone then speculated if he’s in the pageant too. Alden said no. He then asked the grannies. “Kumain na po kayo?” (Have you eaten?) Donya Tinidora answered in behalf of the grannies. “Di pa luto ang bigas eh.” (The rice has yet to be cooked.)

Being a veteran in the pageant scene. Alden then threw a question for the aspiring beauty queen. “May tanong ako sa yo, Ms. Universe. Ako rin ba ang Mr. Universe ng buhay mo?” (I have a question, Ms. Universe. Am I the Mr. Universe in your life?) Divina then replied. “Siempre. Tagal kitang hinintay.” (Of course. I’ve waited for you for so long.) Alden had a minor tongue slip in this part of ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Parang di naman tayo nagkita kahapon.” (As if we didn’t see each other yesterday.) Divina then tried to remind Alden. “Wag kang maingay.” (Tone down your voice.) Lola Nidora heard that and glared her eyes at Alden. Alden tried to appease Lola Nidora by saying “Joke lang po”. (Just kidding.)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Once appeased, Lola Nidora then agreed with Divina’s observation at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Tama nga si Divina. Pumapayat ka. Natutulog ka pa ba?” (Divina is right. You are losing weight. Do you even sleep?) Alden said yes. When asked if he even had time for workout, he displayed a few push-ups and ab crunches. Donya Tidora found it odd for Alden to workout at this time. “Naka-maong ka pag nagwo-workout?” (You’re wearing denims when working out?) Donya Tinidora asked what should be the right outfit. Donya Tidora said that it should be shorts. Alden stopped to express how much she missed the De Explorer entourage. “Iba pa rin po pag kasama kayo.” (It’s still different when I’m with you.)

Lola Nidora understood the need for Alden to work. “Gusto ko marami pa kayong maranasan. Kasi yung mga kapitbahay namin diyan. Andaming chismis.” (I want both of you to experience everything. The main problem is our neighbors. They gossip too much.) [As of ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode, Alden’s grandfather’s condition has stabilized.] Alden and Divina then made up for lost time. Though it’s back to split-screen mode. Alden managed to kiss Divina on the forehead. Divina then DUBsmashed Meghan Trainor’s “Like I’m Gonna Lose You”.

Lola Nidora saw the kisses exchanged. She glared at Alden again. Alden then again tried to appease Lola Nidora at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Lola, joke lang po. Kayo po talaga ang kini-kiss ko.” (Granny, just kidding. You’re really the one that I’m trying to kiss.) Lola Nidora just changed the topic instead. “Natatandaan mo ba yung size ko?” (Do you remember my [shoe] size?) Alden did. “8 and a half? Opo, lola.” Apparently, Lola Nidora had some requests to be bought at Dubai. That got Bossing Vic remembering his requests to Alden too.

After the pleasantries and the requests. Divina went back to polishing her catwalk. Donya Tinidora went back to her instructions. “Konti lang ang pitik. Baka magka-stiff neck ka, hija.” (Don’t turn too hard. You might get some stiff neck, dear.) Donya Tidora took the aggressive route though. “Lakasan mo para tamaan ang kalaban mo.” (Turn your head hard enough to hit your competitor.) Donya Tidora’s fierce approach to beauty pageants surfaced at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Tidora wanted to make sure that Divina gets trained at the question-and-answer portion. Alden is willing to role-play as pageant judge, being a veteran of the beauty pageant circuit himself as revealed in the Alden Richards Birthday Bash episode. But first, he went to the dressing room to wear a blazer. He’d like to look the part at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

Senator Tito thought Alden might take it easy on Divina at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Baka world peace lang ang itanong mo ha?” (You might just ask her about world peace.) Alden then went into role play mode. “Candidate number 1. How do you feel?” Divina answered in one of Maine’s DUBsmash hits. “I don’t feel any pressure right now.”

Now comes the “contest proper”. The mock Q&A at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode started with Alden’s question. “Candidate number 1. Here’s my question. There’s been various discussions about the pros and cons of social media and how it affects today’s youth. Here’s my question, candidate number 1. Makinig ka. Na-miss mo ba ako?” (Listen up. Did you miss me?)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Divina was taken aback with the question that she wasn’t oriented for. “Bakit ganun yung tanong?” (Why is that the question?) Alden repeated the question to show that he’s serious. “You have 30 seconds to answer the question. Na-miss mo ba ako?” (Did you miss me?) Donya Tinidora had another concern though. “Magagalit yung mga kalaban. Baka sabihin, luto agad.” (The other competitors might get angry. They might say there are some shenanigans.) The pressure for Divina just increased tenfold at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

Divina took awhile to recover from the unexpected question. Upon mustering enough breath and guts, she answered the question at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Thank you for that very wonderful question. I do believe that social media can be an effective tool in teaching today’s youth. As long as we know it’s dangers and limitations. Pero yes, Mr. Richards. I missed you. I thank you.”

Donya Tidora was seen cheering behind Divina for her great answer. “Very good.” Alden himself was very satisfied. “Very good. Very nice.” Donya Tidora reminded Divina about her posture at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Chest out! Chest out!” Divina obeyed albeit it looked awkward for her. Donya Tinidora can’t help but notice it. “Ampanget naman. Naka-chest out.” (Chest out looks bad [on her].) Donya Tidora justified her teachings to Divina. “Ganun talaga sa beauty pageant.” (That’s really how it goes at the beauty pageant.) Donya Tinidora insisted that it doesn’t look good. “Para namang pato.” (She looked like a duck.)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Lola Nidora thought more of Divina’s smile. “Dapat mag-practice ka, Divina. Dapat yung smile mo, hindi yung nanginginig na ganyan.”(You should practice, Divina. Your smile should be something that doesn’t look shaky like that.) She even found the strength at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode to stand up and remind Divina to fix it.

Alden then shifted his next question. He’s the only judge at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. So he ends up facilitating the next questions too. “Okay, candidate number 1. After talking about social media, let’s talk about national issues. What is your ideal man?” Divina tried to laugh off her nerves while grasping for answers. “Oh my God. I will fall for a man not just for his good looks. But for his good heart. I like a man who can make me feel special. Who will spend time with me. Who will make me his number 1 priority. Someone who cries when he’s sad. Someone who can make me smile. Someone who can dream with me. Someone who will hold my hand when I’m happy or sad.”

Divina then tried to cut to the chase. “But of course, my ideal man is 5’10 in height. Maputi tapos may dimple sa kaliwang pisngi. Yung nakarating ng Dubai. At yung nakarating na sa Japan. Ganun. May pangalan ding Richards. Ganun.” (He’s fair-skinned with a dimple on his left cheek. Someone who’s been to Dubai. And to Japan too. Like that. He has “Richards” on his name too.) Donya Tinidora criticized her grand-niece’s inability to be direct at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Ba’t di nyo pa dinirechong siya yung gusto mo? Ang dami mo pang sinabi.” (Why didn’t you tell him directly that you like him? You talked too much.)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Lola Nidora kept standing the moment she sensed the direction that the mock Q&A is going. Alden then went for his follow-up question. [Because he’s the only one anyway that can do the mock Q&A at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.] “Sasagutin mo na ba ako?” (Are you going to answer me now?) Donya Tidora and Donya Tinidora had to remind Lola Nidora to stay calm. Divina glanced at Lola Nidora. “That is a very hard question. Oh my God. My family … My family …” Lola Nidora finished Divina’s sentence. “…will get mad.” Divina then echoed Lola Nidora. “My family will get mad.”

Donya Tinidora asked the obvious in case Alden can vouch for himself. “Question and answer ba ito o ligawan?” (Is this Q&A or courtship?) Alden then DUBsmashed Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud”. Divina then DUBsmashed Donna Cruz’s “Isang Tanong Isang Sagot”. [By this time, it’s a little obvious how OPM songs are usually from Viva Records. Usually. There are some exceptions that you will notice once you watch the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode replay.]

Lola Nidora then took the opportunity to interrupt by addressing him by his other name. “Richard, para-paraan ka.” (Richard, you find ways.) Alden then backtracked. “Joke lang po, lola.” (Just kidding, granny.) Lola Nidora emphasized her authority over Divina at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Di puedeng joke yun. Gawin mo yan dito sa tahanan namin.” (You don’t kid around with something like that. Do it here in our house.) Donya Tinidora had to remind Lola Nidora. “Problema, wala tayong bahay. Palipat-lipat tayo.” (The problem is we don’t have a house.) Lola Nidora then remembered that painful truth.

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Lola Nidora then talked to Divina. “Para-paraan si Richard sa iyo ano?” (Richard finds ways towards you, doesn’t he?) Divina agreed. Alden went “Luh luh luh luh luh” upon hearing this. Donya Tinidora didn’t take it lightly though. “Kala nagbibiro ka, ate.” (He must have thought you’re kidding around.) Lola Nidora then stood her ground. “Hindi ako nagbibiro.” (I am not kidding around.) She had to shut up for awhile to capture Alden’s attention. Donya Tinidora walked away for awhile in the middle of Lola Nidora’s awkward silence. “Aalis muna ako. Kinakabahan ako kay Lola.” (I need to leave first. I’m nervous about granny.)

One Alden has sat still, Lola Nidora answered the question away from Divina. Alden then behaved. But kept on his other follow up question. “Puede po ba kaming mag-date sa Saturday?” (May I take her out on a date on Saturday?) “Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for that wonderful question. I believe the children are our future. If you are asking for a date on Saturday …” Because it took awhile for Lola Nidora to answer the question at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. Donya Tidora finished her sentence. “I don’t have any problem with that at all. Thank you. Ganun! Ganun ang sagot!” (That’s how you should answer!)

Lola Nidora snapped back at Donya Tidora. “Tinapos mo naman yung question! Gusto mo na namang sumama eh.” (You finished the question abruptly! You just want to tag along!) Lola Nidora turned her attention back to Alden. “Pag-iisipan ko.” (I’d think about it.) Divina then begged her. “Lola, monthsary po namin.” (Granny, that’s our monthsary.)

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Alden seconded the motion at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. “Opo, lola. Sige na po.” (Yes, granny. Please let us.) Lola Nidora didn’t like both Alden and Divina asking simultaneously. “Sige. Pagtulungan nyo ako. Kahit monthsary, pagiisipan ko. That’s all. Ayoko ng joke-joke.” (Go ahead. Conspire against me. Even if it’s your monthsary, I’d think about it. No more jokes about it.)

Donya Tinidora agreed with Lola Nidora. Later she asked Alden. “Anong oras kayo aalis sa Sabado?” (What time will you leave by Saturday?) Lola Nidora, already sitting down, stood up upon hearing Donya Tinidora. “Pumayag na ba ako?” (Did I allow them already?) It was Donya Tinidora’s turn to sit down. Lola Nidora then went back to business at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. She mentioned Divina’s decision to join the Miss Barangay pageant. “Puede naman sigurong wala nang talent portion. Baka matalo tayo eh.” (I think we can forego the talent portion. We might lose.)

Donya Tidora disagreed. “Talented kaya yang si YayaDUB.” (Nanny DUB is talented.) They then prompted her to sing. Donya Tinidora advised her. “Dapat yung emotional ka. Yung dama mo.” (You have to be emotional. Feel it.) Divina was trying to sound like Jaya though. “Yung pang-platinum po, lola?” (The platinum record kind of song, granny?) The grannies egged her on. She then tried singing Regine Velasquez’s version of “On The Wings of Love”. [Primetime soaps from ABS-CBN ended up getting free “exposure” at the ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. 2 songs “Pangako Sa Yo” and “On The Wings of Love” ended up getting DUBsmashed and sung here.]

Divina then tried to switch back to her DUBsmash skits. One was the Busta Rhymes DUBsmash stint. The other was her DUBsmash of the Jim Carrey clip from the Hollywood film “Bruce Almighty”. Lola Nidora had another idea. “Gawin na lang niya yung pancit pancit.” (Let her do the pancit declamation piece instead.) She was referring to one of the signature skits in their other segment, Eat Bulaga’s Little Miss Philippines.

But since there is no plastic bag of pancit to use as props. Donya Tinidora went with letting her sack of rice used as substitute prop. Lola Nidora then lay on the wooden sofa onsite to play dead. This skit is almost a staple for contestants of Little Miss Philippines to show their dramatic prowess. Talent requirements would usually include singing, dancing or acting. Hence, Lola Nidora’s concern at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

ALDUB The BAE is BACK
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

And so Divina carried the sack of rice while wearing a gown at ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode. She already knew the lines having seen this skit several times on Eat Bulaga herself. “Lola, lola, eto na po yung bigas. Lola … Ano po nangyari sa inyo? Andito na po yung bigas?” (Granny, granny, the rice is here. Granny …. What happened to you? The rice is already here.) She was at the height of her skit when the truck horn already honked off. Signifying the end of ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode.

Characters are already in freeze mode. But Boss Joey suggested putting the sack of rice on top of Lola Nidora. Would these talents secure a win for Divina at Miss Barangay 2016? Tune in to Eat Bulaga. Monday to Saturday at noontime. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch ALDUB The BAE is BACK episode replay.

Have you ever been keeping up with the recent episodes? Quite a challenge. But challenge accepted. At least for me. Keep tab of them once you follow us on our social media accounts. Like us on Facebook, The Philippines Web. And follow us on Twitter @pinasamazing. We’d be expecting you.