The ALDUB New Journey episode opened with YayaDUB. She’s obviously still reeling over her first ever live performance at the ALDUB Happy Bae Day Alden episode. Also, she’s inspired after seeing the contestants of Eat Bulaga’s new segment “Grabe S’ya!” (Closest Translation: Damn!) She sang. She acted. She even tried to copy one of the contestants who was a contortionist. It’s the kind of one-size-fits all talent portion that YayaDUB hopes to join into.
Lola Nidora found her making faces and acting up in front of the mirror. The physical parts in the ALDUB New Journey episode worried her. YayaDUB called this her exercise though. “Masipa mo ako. Iba rin ang exercise mo, Yaya. Nagdrama pa.” (You might end up kicking me. What an exercise you have. You even acted out.) YayaDUB explained her so-called routine. “Kasama po yan sa exercise. Mukha, katawan …” (It’s included in my exercise. The face, the body …)
Lola Nidora then tried copying the contortionist skit. YayaDUB herself can’t imitate the said talent. “Hindi ko na kaya. Hindi ko maabot yung paa ko eh.” (I can’t do it. I can’t reach my foot.) She found a way to cheat though by removing her shoe. YayaDUB saw the little neat trick at the ALDUB New Journey episode. “Mas mataas po ang sa inyo.” (Yours is higher.) That’s when she went chastising YayaDUB again. “Baka gayahin ka ng maliliit. Baka mabalian sila.” (The little kids might imitate you. They might break their bones.) The disclaimer was then mentioned as to how only professionals can do this stunt.
The camera zoomed out of the ALDUB New Journey episode. It revealed that they live in a larger house with a high ceiling. Allan K asked them. “Ba’t ang bongga ng bahay?” (How come the house is large?) Lola Nidora claimed that it wasn’t their new home. “Nagwalis ako. Nakitira lang kami.” (I just sweep. We just begged to live here for now.) Once the KalyeSerye commentary panel started asking for her sisters. Lola Nidora started looking around for them too.
YayaDUB continued with the song instead. She was leaning on the wall. Lola Nidora feared that she’d get “grounded” (local slang term for getting electrocuted slightly from minor currents). “Yaya, maganda ang kanta mo kanina. Puede bang kumanta ka ng wala sa pader?” (Nanny, your song was good. Can you sing without the wall?) That’s when Alden showed up at the next monitor DUBsmashing to “Cruisin’” by Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis. YayaDUB ended up joining the DUBsmash as it’s a duet track played at the ALDUB New Journey episode.
Alden thanked YayaDUB. “Alam mo bang naging extra special yung birthday ko dahil sa effort mo? Kahit pagod ka nung New Year, nag-effort ka.” (Did you know that my birthday became extra special due to your efforts? Even if you were tired from the New Year festivities, you made an effort.) YayaDUB appreciated it. “Special ka kasi sa akin.” (Because you are special to me.) Alden then asked for a kiss. Lola Nidora almost went into beast mode again. Alden backtracked. “Lola, joke lang po.” (Granny, just kidding.)
Alden and YayaDUB went into a DUBsmash exchange again. [Including “Pangako Sa Yo” in their DUBsmash playlist at the ALDUB New Journey episode somewhat ruffled a few fandoms though. That’s their problem.] Then another horn was heard honking at the background. Clearly, the truck horn and the SUV horn sounded the same. It caused some confusion on Lola Nidora on whether to freeze or to expect another guest.
It turns out to be Donya Tinidora with her Cuando Cuando Cuando. Still no ladder. But at the ALDUB New Journey episode, the Cuando Cuando Cuando were also wearing crew-neck cut white t-shirts. Like the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio, they stayed with their employer even after the fall of the House of De Explorer. While Donya Tinidora was dancing. Donya Tidora was DUBsmashing. [I’ve stopped hoping for the Donya Tidora’s Bernardo Bernardo Bernardo to return. They looked like high maintenance bodyguards anyway.]
Lola Nidora found this influx of performances odd even for their new economic status. “Hoy! Ano ba yan? Lahat kayo, nagkakantahan. Si Divina, kumakanta parang butiki sa pader.” (What commotion is this? All of you singing. Divina is singing like a lizard stuck to the wall.) Donya Tinidora revealed her new planned business venture. “Meron kaming talent management. Puedeng kumuha ng talent si Mother Lily. Ang tawag ay PKA.” (We have put up a talent management agency. Mother Lily can get some talents from us. Our agency is called PKA.) [Mother Lily is the name the entertainment industry has called film producer Lily Monteverde of Regal Films.]
Donya Tinidora explained what PKA is at the ALDUB New Journey episode. “PKA. Pasisikatin Kita Agency.” [Seriously, the first thing that came to mind was Mang Kanor’s “Pasisikatin Kita Hija” (Dear, I Will Make You Famous) clip.] The fame is not guaranteed. But anyone can try. In other words, a parody of Eat Bulaga’s “Grabe S’ya!” Lola Nidora’s reference was a little dated though. “Parang manpower ng talent.” (Like a manpower agency for acting talents.) Donya Tinidora agreed. “Tapos ang cut natin 60%.” (Then our cut is at 60%) Bossing Vic Sotto, a film and television producer himself, found it too steep to be serious. [Some producers in the Philippines end up getting monickers in the industry.]
Donya Tinidora thought about the cuts that will stay. Whether she’s willing to negotiate after Bossing Vic’s shocked reaction is not too clear though. Lola Nidora somewhat got nervous. “Kelangan natin ng mga connection.” (We need more connections.) Donya Tinidora thought that she got it covered at the ALDUB New Journey episode. “Me kilala akong pulis.” (I know a cop.) Lola Nidora had to raise her voice to make sure Donya Tinidora heard her right. “CONNECTION! Hindi COLLECTION!”
Donya Tinidora then tried to recruit Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB. “Wag ka nang mag-culinary. Mag-talent ka na lang.” (Don’t go to culinary school anymore. Just be our talent.) Donya Tinidora had the stage set for their own talent search competition too at the ALDUB New Journey episode. She called it “SPRANKIEFY”. It was a portmanteau of YayaDUB’s ex-fiance Frankie and the other hit Eat Bulaga segment “SPOGIFY”. [SPOGIFY in turn was a portmanteau of POGI and SPOTIFY.]
The KalyeSerye commentary panel joined in the brainstorming sessions at the ALDUB New Journey episode. Allan K asked knowing that nicknames exist in the Philippine entertainment industry. Donya Tinidora settled for being called “Tita T”. Donya Tidora settled for being called “Mommy T”. As Lola Nidora is not that enthusiastic over this idea, she stuck to being called “Lola Nids”.
SPRANKIEFY had several auditionees lined up. Donya Tinidora is proud of bringing them in. “Bossing, eto. Ginising pa namin ito.” (Here, Bossing. We even woke them up.) Bossing, Allan K and Ms. Ruby Rodriguez [last minute addition to the panel] got humorously skeptical of this talent search. To them it looked more like a queue for the security agency applicants. Not a queue for the talent agency applicants.
Lola Nidora got even more skeptical especially knowing the trend in local movies as of the ALDUB New Journey episode. But she tried to say it nicely to her sisters. “Wag kayong masasaktan. Hindi na kasi uso ang pelikulang maraming goons.” (Please don’t take this personally. Action films are no longer the norm for extras playing goons to be needed.) Donya Tinidora believed in talent despite lack of, um, face value. “Ano ba naman si CHITAE naging leading lady?” (CHITAE himself was a leading lady, right?) [CHITAE was one of the most famous characters played by the late great Rene Requiestas. Requiestas was the former sidekick of Boss Joey de Leon in his movies.]
SPRANKIEFY seemed like an attempt to parody “Grabe S’ya!” in the same vein that Suffer Sireyna parodied their high-profile and uber-glamorous segment Super Sireyna. If only the talent can make up for the appearances. Allan K may not be a producer. But he is known to take in talents for his string of comedy bars Klownz and Zirkoh. He was underwhelmed. “Respeto naman. May mga kumakain.” (Show some respect. Others are still having lunch.) It wasn’t a very impressive start at the ALDUB New Journey episode.
Bossing Vic himself? He had the best facial expressions so far at the ALDUB New Journey episode as far as these auditionees are concerned. [For me, it felt like a throwback to Eat Bulaga’s defunct segment “Feeling Pogi”.] Singers were so poor. They ate their own lyrics. Tribal dance numbers looked like dance routines of skeleton hung on a string. And … Donya Tinidora and Donya Tidora found themselves blaming each other for the lackluster recruits. They apologized profusely to Bossing Vic after seeing his reaction.
The Kalye’s Angels didn’t expect a familiar face to join in the audition. It’s one of the Rogelios. “Ako ang Rogelio ng SPRANKIEFY.” (I am Rogelio for SPRANKIEFY.) As expected, he sang Freddie Aguilar’s “Ipaglalaban Ko” on his audition piece. He wasn’t eating much of the words. But some notes were off. Lola Nidora immediately recognized him because of his song. She wasn’t upset. But she didn’t like it that this Rogelio didn’t inform her first before showing up. The other Rogelios though were not seen at the ALDUB New Journey episode.
Donya Tidora understood why this Rogelio auditioned for PKA. “Baka kasi hindi mo na siya pinapasweldo.” (Maybe you’re not giving him any wages anymore.) Donya Tinidora viewed it as moonlighting on Rogelio’s part. She didn’t say at the ALDUB New Journey episode that it was bad. But she’s concerned about conflict of interest. “Dapat kasi mag-resign ka muna sa amin bago ka mag-audition.” (You should have resigned from us first before going to audition.)
Lola Nidora was more concerned though at how underwhelming Rogelio’s performance was. She removed her wig and wore some shades like most of the PKA auditionees. She then went straight to the mic and made a mock audition for Rogelio to emulate. Of course, she had to use a different name. “Ako nga pala si Krilin ng Ghost Fighter.” (By the way, I am Krilin of Ghost Fighter.) Lola Nidora got her pop culture references mashed up again. It led to a “voice battle” between Lola Nidora and Rogelio at the ALDUB New Journey episode.
Donya Tinidora then challenged Bossing Vic to sing too. Since he is familiar with the song, he also sang at the ALDUB New Journey episode. He’s barely finished with his song when Donya Tinidora exclaimed. “Tanggap na yan! Tanggap na yan! Limang taong movie contract!” (He’s in! He’s in! Five-year movie contract in the bag!) Lola Nidora stood by her statement though. “Pag-isipan nyo yang business na yan. Mahirap na.” (Think about that business real hard. It’s tough.)
Donya Tinidora also suggested that Allan K put up his own talent agency – SMONKEYFY. Ms. Ruby thought of it as a good idea. But she has her own concept at the ALDUB New Journey episode. “Itutuloy ko yung akin. SPIGGYFY.” (I will push through with mine – SPIGGYFY.) Allan K is in the joke. But he then reminded Donya Tinidora. “Tandaan nyo. Taon ko ngayon.” (Remember this is my year. [Year of the Monkey]) Lola Nidora didn’t think of Allan K as a monkey though. “Hindi naman monkey yan eh. Gorilla yan eh.” (That’s not a monkey. That’s a gorilla.)
Donya Tinidora revealed more auditions. Everyone is welcome as long as they pay the audition fee. Now Allan K is concerned. “Wag nyong palabasing raket ang audition nyo. Naniningil kayo.” (Don’t make a money grub out of it. You’re charging audition fees.) Donya Tinidora and Donya Tidora explained where the money will go as if it was the maintenance fee though. Later at the Sugod-Bahay segment in the ALDUB New Journey episode, the Kalye’s Angels were practicing “Bawal na Gamot” (Prohibited Drugs) by Willy Garte.
After giving some prizes, Lola Nidora’s phone rang. It was Jake. Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB said that it’s her classmate. Lola Nidora was a bit taken aback that he’d call her and not Divina. “Classmate mo pala. Bakit sa ‘kin tumatawag?” (It’s your classmate. Why is he calling me?) She handed the phone to Divina. It was for their school report. But Alden was obviously disturbed. Bossing Vic saw his reaction at the ALDUB New Journey episode and even egged it on. “Ayan kasi. Antok antok ka pa.” (There you go. For going sleepy.)
Divina finished the call and explained who Jake is. “Groupmate ko po sa school.” (He’s my groupmate at school.) Lola Nidora’s protective instincts kicked in again. “Classmate lang ha? Report lang ha? Kinikilig ka sa report? Yung boses mo, parang boses ng kakagising lang.” (Just a classmate huh? Just [school] report huh? You feel giddy over a [school] report? Your voice was like you just woke up.) Allan K was not very helpful either at the ALDUB New Journey episode. “Respeto naman. Kaka-renovate ng lungga nung isa o.” (Show some respect. Somebody just got his den renovated.)
Divina went straight to talking to Alden himself though. “Alden, may sasabihin ako di ba? Nakipag-usap lang ako. Kelangan sa school yun.” (I have something to say, right? I just talked [to my classmate]. I need it for school.) Alden just DUBsmashed “How Do I Live” before walking out. He went to the backstage dining room and shut the door. As Gasgas started his spiel at the ALDUB New Journey epilogue. The camera has entered the dining room. Alden already locked himself up in the CR. Not even Sam YG could make him go out.
Was Alden’s jealousy justified? It was more like the KalyeSerye writers’ way of granting some fans’ requests of making Alden jealous. For everything else that you missed, catch the ALDUB New Journey episode replay on Eat Bulaga’s official YouTube channel. [ALDUB New Journey episode replay attached above.] Make sure to like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page. And follow them on Twitter @EatBulaga.
Does this mean that the ALDUB Nation should be careful of what they wish for? Well, not really. Since the KalyeSerye is the improv spin on what could have been just another conventional romantic comedy. Alden’s jealousy is the cutest way to remain a cut above the rest of TV series today. Why put in villains when jealousy can unleash either Alden or Divina into beast mode? It makes the succeeding episode recaps like this article on the ALDUB New Journey episode exciting. So don’t be left behind in the latest. Like our official Facebook page, The Philippines Web. And follow us on Twitter @pinasamazing. We’d be expecting you.