ALDUB 28th Weeksary

ALDUB 28th Weeksary: ANSERA Volume 4

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Early in the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode, the diary was shown on the floor. Donya Tinidora did not see it soon enough. Not until her feet accidentally gave the diary a slight kick. She was calling out to her sister. But no one responded. She tried looking for Lola Nidora again. “Ate? Kanina lang nandito, iniwan ko.” (Awhile ago, she was just here.) Boss Joey gave Donya Tinidora a little idea what to do. “Papakialaman ni Ging Ging.” (Ging Ging will peek [into the diary].) Ging Ging was Jose Manalo’s ANSERA alter-ego.

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Tinidora denied Boss Joey’s suggestion. “Huy! Hindi ako ganun. Hindi naman niya basta-basta iiwan ito. Mahirap yung nakikialam ka sa bagay ng may bagay.” (That’s not how I am. I don’t think she would simply leave it around here. It’s hard when you’re tampering on certain things.) Soon enough though, curiosity got the better of Donya Tinidora at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. She picked up the diary and opened a few pages. She did not read aloud. But she was covering her mouth as if seeing something shocking. Lola Nidora returned to their home seeing Donya Tinidora reading the diary.

Lola Nidora was livid. “Tinidora! Bakit mo binabasa ito? Akin ‘to eh! Akin ‘to! Hindi mo dapat ito binabasa!” (Why are you reading this? This is mine! Mine! You are not supposed to be reading this.) Donya Tinidora was apologetic at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Sori, ate. Iniwan mo.” (I’m sorry. You left it there.) Lola Nidora lectured Donya Tinidora. “Hindi sa ‘yo. Pag di sa ‘yo, wag mong papakialaman!” (If it isn’t yours, don’t even bother.)

Donya Tinidora didn’t appreciate getting blamed for the minor peep. “Burara ka tapos ako sisisihin mo. Bakit mo ba naiwan yan?” (You’re scatterbrained and then you blame me. Why did you leave it lying around there?) Lola Nidora admitted the minor quibbles. “Ulyanin na ‘ko.” (I’m going senile.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Boss Joey was more curious about which part did Donya Tinidora read at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary. “Di puede iere? Meron bang sandata?” (Can’t you air it? Does it refer to “weapons”?) Bossing Vic mentioned another line familiar for fans of Xerex Xaviera. “Mga balaraw ng pag-ibig?” (Daggers of love?) [Tagalog erotica tend to use euphemisms in describing sexual activities. Hence these terms mentioned at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.]

Lola Nidora just repeated what she told Donya Tinidora. “Next time, wag mong bubuksan.” (Don’t open it next time.) The sisters changed their topic to Bossing Vic’s wedding preparations. Donya Tinidora then revealed her wedding gift. A potty. “Regalo ko kina Pauleen at Marvic. Ang linis niyan. Hinugasan ko yan.” (This is my gift to Pauleen and Marvic. It’s clean. I washed it myself.) Bossing Vic voiced out his concerns at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Baka gamit na yan ha?” (That might be used.) Donya Tinidora didn’t directly deny it. “Hindi. Slightly used lang.”

Bossing Vic then asked for Lola Nidora’s gift as of the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Ano regalo nyo?” (What’s your gift?) Donya Tinidora spoke ahead of Lola Nidora. She tried to lift the item too. “Kalderong sira.” (A broken rice pot.) When Donya Tinidora tried to lift it, the handle got detached on one side. Lola Nidora blamed the defect on her sister. “Sinira mo eh.” (You broke it.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Tinidora then saw that the rice pot has contents. “Kalderong may bigas.” (A rice pot with rice grains.) Bossing Vic liked Lola Nidora’s gift. “Salamat naman at binahaginan ninyo kami.” (Thank you for sharing.) Lola Nidora still found some rice grains from one of the Sugod Bahay errands they had in the past before the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

Lola Nidora went back to chastising Donya Tinidora. Donya Tinidora still denies reading more than she should have at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Hindi ko naman nabasa. Tiningnan ko lang yung iba. Yung kwentong pag-ibig. Haba ng hair mo, ate, nung kabataan mo pala. Sana di ka na tumanda.” (I didn’t read it. I just checked some pages. The love stories. You were so beautiful, elder sister, when you were young. You shouldn’t have gotten old.) Lola Nidora thought that she aged well though. “Hanggang ngayon naman, may asim pa ako. Eto. Makinig kayong mabuti.” (Until now, I still got some appeal in me. Here. Listen well.) She then reopened her diary where she left off at ANSERA Volume 3.

Lola Nidora recalled the day Donya Ariana put her away. “Tinapon muna ako. Nabubuhay na lamang ako sa mga liham ni Anselmo. Si YayaMot ang naging tulay para mahanap ni Anselmo. Kahit alam kong ikamamatay ko, hinanap ko si Anselmo. Ang gusto ko lang ay makapiling si Anselmo. Hinanap ko si Anselmo.” (I was exiled from home. I only live through the letters of Anselmo. YayaMot [a.k.a. Nanny Beyonce] became the bridge for me to find Anselmo. Even if I risked dying, I searched for Anselmo. I just want to be with him. I looked for him.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Nidora was shown by Aurora Blvd looking for Anselmo. Bossing Vic thought that she might sing. “Baka mag-traffic diva pa yan.” (She might do the Traffic Diva [segment in Eat Bulaga].) Nidora asked around. Donya Tinidora noticed some production discrepancies at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode too. “Sila lang ang luma ang damit ano? Yung tao, modern ang damit eh.” (Only they [Anselmo and Nidora] wore period clothes.) She was referring to the people that Nidora asked that didn’t wear period clothes like her.

Lola Nidora recalled at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode how she searched high and low. “Palinga-linga.” (I was looking around.) Bossing Vic can’t help but sing one of the common songs performed at the Eat Bulaga segment Traffic Diva. “Ayoko sana …” Allan K had to remind him that they are watching the KalyeSerye segment. “Hindi ito traffic diva, Bossing.” Bossing Vic then stopped after just one line at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

Lola Nidora read from her diary. “Kahit sobrang init, di ramdam. Makita ko lang si Anselmo. Alam kong nasa hospital siya. Nalaman ko rin kung saan ang hospital at dali dali akong pumunta sa kanya.” (No matter howo hot the weather got, I didn’t feel it. Just for me to see Anselmo. I know he’s at the hospital. I learned of the hospital and immediately went to him.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Nidora hopped into a passenger jeepney in her search. Allan K’s concern was some random fan taking advantage of the scene for a selfie opportunity at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Pag may nag-selfie, pababain ha?” (If someone takes a selfie, have her taken down the jeep.) He himself found that possibility funny himself.

Lola Nidora continued. “Tandang tanda ko pa ang panahon na yun. Takot na takot ako sa Mama. Pero matigas ang ulo ko. Sinunod ko pa rin ang puso ko.” (I could still remember the days. I was so scared of mama. But I was hard-headed. I still followed my heart.) Donya Tinidora comforted Lola Nidora. “Naiintindihan kita, ate.” (I understand, elder sister.) Lola Nidora relayed how she didn’t find Anselmo at the hospital. “Nagpilit si Anselmo na umalis ng hospital. Naghahanapan pala kaming dalawa.” (Anselmo forced himself out of the hospital. We ended up searching for each other.)

The lady doctor was shocked to see Anselmo packing his things. “Anselmo, anong iyong ginagawa?” (What are you doing?) It’s not yet time for him to go. But Anselmo insisted on leaving. “Kelangan ko pong puntahan ang aking irog na si Nidora. Kelangan ko pong maghanap.” (I need to go to my beloved Nidora. I need to search.) It was shown at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode how Anselmo collapsed.

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

The doctor caught him in time. “Sinabi ko na sa yo, hindi mo pa kaya. Anselmo. Delikado sa buhay mo! Anselmo!” (I told you that you can’t do it yet. Your life is in danger!) The doctor failed to stop Anselmo. There weren’t any nurses or paramedics to help her stop Anselmo. Anselmo’s need to find Nidora was stronger than the doctor’s orders. Bossing Vic just observed the doctor at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Tingnan mo si Dra. Lydia oh.” (Look at Dra. Lydia.) Boss Joey guessed the doctor’s full name. “Dra. Lydia Ping Ping ang pangalan niyan.” (Her name is Dra. Lydia Ping Ping.)

Donya Tinidora saw how the doctor’s appearance has changed. “Nagpagupit na yung doctor.” (The doctor had a haircut.) Allan K disagreed. “Kinulot lang.” (They just curled it.) Bossing Vic suddenly got worried for Anselmo escaping at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Ilang pasyente na ang nahulog diyan? Ang taas ng hagdan eh.” (How many patients have fallen off? The stairs are too steep.) Allan K had to reiterate Anselmo’s condition. “Me sakit yan. TSU. Tumor sa utak.” (He has a brain tumor.)

Lola Nidora knew how Anselmo braved the streets in his condition. “Hirap na hirap si Anselmo sa kakakurap.” (He had a lot of difficulty blinking.) It got Allan K thinking. “Nakaka-tumor pala ang kurap nang kurap.” (So too much blinking causes tumors.) Boss Joey disagreed. “Baka malakas lang ang araw.” (The sun might just be shining a little too bright.) Donya Tinidora has gotten used to Anselmo’s mannerism at this point in the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Talagang hindi niya maiwasan ang pagkurap.” (He really can’t help but blink.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

On the other hand, Bossing Vic noticed the young Nidora’s journey at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Ang layo ng nilakbay nito. Kanina nakasarao, ngayon naka-tricycle.” (She took a long trip. Awhile ago, she’s on the jeep. Now she’s on a tricycle.) Lola Nidora remembered the difficulty of the search. “Pilit kaming pinagtatagpo ng aming mga puso. Pero nagkakasalisi kami.” (Our hearts try to make us meet. But we keep missing each other.) It led to a slightly jazzy DUBsmash exchange.

It didn’t take long before they see each other at some street corner. Once they are sure that their eyes are not deceiving them. Nidora and Anselmo ran to each other. It was almost like how they embraced each other in ANSERA Volume 2. Except that Anselmo is still not strong enough to lift Nidora at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. Bossing Vic thought they they’d even kiss. “Wala bang tukaan yan?” (No smooch?) Donya Tinidora tried to egg them on. “Tukaan na.” (Smooch now.) Unlike Alden and Divina. Anselmo and Nidora were at least “official”.

Anselmo quickly asked Nidora. “Paano mo akong nahanap?” (How did you find me?) Nidora admitted throwing caution to the wind. “Nagbabakasakali ako, Anselmo. Napakasaya ko. Payakap nga.” (I took a chance, Anselmo. I am overjoyed. Please hug me.) Anselmo was just as overjoyed. “Abot langit ang binibigay mo sa ‘king ligaya.” (The kind of joy that you bring me is heavenly.) Nidora got close enough to Anselmo to sense something wrong at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Okay ka lang ba? Bakit parang namumutla ka, Anselmo?” (Are you alright? Why do you look pale?) Anselmo downplayed his health condition. “Baka puyat lang ako.” (Maybe I just lack sleep.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Nidora pressed for further info. “Wala ka bang dinaramdam, Anselmo?” (Are you not feeling anything?) Allan K saw Anselmo touch Nidora’s hair. “Inayos yung wig.” (He rearranged her wig.) Anselmo didn’t want Nidora to worry at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Baka gutom lang ito.” (I might just be starving.) That’s when Nidora tried to encourage Anselmo to eat. “Kumain muna tayo, Anselmo. Talagang nakita na kita.” (Let’s eat first. Now that I have found you.)

Anselmo was hesitant. But he eventually showed Nidora to a nearby barbecue stand. His tone was apologetic. “Ito lang kasi ang nakayanan ko eh. Kumakain ka ba nito?” (This is all I can afford. Do you eat this?) The camera at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary showed the meat cooked on the grill. It’s pieces of chicken intestines skewered on sticks. Nidora had apprehensions upon seeing the food. “Hindi kasi kami kumakain niyan eh. Hindi ba madumi yan, Anselmo? Pinagbilinan kasi akong wag kumain niyan.” (We don’t eat that. Isn’t it dirty, Anselmo? We were told not to eat that.) Anselmo assured Nidora that it’s clean. “Hindi mo pa natitikman. Subukan mo muna, Nidora. Wag kang matakot.” (You haven’t tasted it yet. Try it first. Don’t be afraid.)

The appearance alone of the grilled chicken intestines made Nidora skeptical. “Nagtitiwala ako sa yo. Pero bakit yan ang hitsura niyan?” (I trust you. But why do they look like that.) Seems like she didn’t even know that they are chicken intestines. They looked different compared to meat cooked at the mansion. Anselmo convinced Nidora at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Subukan mo muna, Nidora.” (Try it first, Nidora.) And he helped her eat.

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Nidora soon was ready to eat it. “Anselmo, akala ko ba titikman ko na.” (I thought I am about to eat it.) Anselmo was blowing on the grilled chicken intestines, concerned that it would scald Nidora. “Mainit pa.” (It’s still hot.) Lola Nidora read her diary entry at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode further. “Si Anselmo ang nagturo sa akin na kumain ng isaw.” (Anselmo taught me how to eat grilled chicken intestines.)

Soon, Nidora liked it. “Ang sarap.” (It tastes great.) Nidora loved it so much. She ate more. Anselmo got worried upon seeing Nidora eat so fast. “Dahan dahan lang. Baka mabulunan ka.” (Careful. You might choke.) Nidora was so happy at discovering new food. “Ngayon lang kasi ako nakakain ng ganito, Anselmo.” (This is the first time for me to eat this, Anselmo.)

And Lola Nidora reminisced eating street food for the first time at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Ayun na nga. Dun nagsimula kung pano ko naging paborito ang isaw. Si Anselmo ang nagturo sa aking kumain ng isaw. Diyan nagsimula ang pagkagusto namin sa isaw.” (So there. My love for grilled chicken intestines as a favorite food has started. Anselmo taught me how to eat it.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Anselmo was right. Nidora soon choked. In between gasps of breath, she called for Anselmo. “Anselmo ….” Anselmo quickly ran back to the grill. There was no drinking water close to it. But he tried to get something to drink. Senator Tito then saw what he picked up at the stall. “Suka yan ah.” (That’s vinegar.) Nidora had difficulty drinking the vinegar. But since there is no other liquid nearby, she drank it.

Anselmo tapped Nidora’s back too, thinking that it would help. “Okay ka lang ba?” (Are you alright?) It was the first time that Nidora ate heartily without having to worry about table manners. “Nabigla ako kasi di ko alam na ganun pala ang lasa nun. Ang sarap pala. Salamat ha?” (I was perplexed because I didn’t expect it to taste like that. It tastes great. Thank you.) Anselmo was happy at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode too. “Walang anuman.” (You’re welcome.)

Lola Nidora then read in her diary entry how Donya Ariana learned of Beyonce’s interference. “Nung mga panahon na yun, galit na galit si Mama kay Beyonce. Sinubukan lang pala ni Mama si Beyonce.” (At that time, Mama was furious at Beyonce. Turns out that she only tested the maid.) Beyonce was crying, begging Donya Ariana to stop whipping her. Her broken English remained at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Stop hurting me. It’s very ouch.”

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Ariana kept whipping her maid further. “Sinasabi ko na nga ba. Kasabwat ka ni Nidora. Etong sa ‘yo!” (I knew it. You were Nidora’s cohort. Take this!) It wasn’t clear if she was the only maid in the House of Zobeyala. But Beyonce was the closest that Nidora ever got to having her own nanny. The audience could still remember how Lola Nidora mentioned at the ALDUB Love on Top episode how she never had a nanny to call her own until Divina came along.

Beyonce’s English may still be broken. But she tried to make sense in the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “I don’t know where she is! Why don’t you give them the freedom to fall in love, Senyora?” Donya Ariana does not appreciate a chambermaid that talks back. “At sino ka para turuan ako kung anong dapat? Ha? Isa ka lang alipin! Hampaslupa! Ilabas mo si Nidora! Pag di mo nilabas si Nidora, ipapakulong ko kayong lahat. Pati lahat ng EB Babes. Ipapalapa ko kayo sa mga alaga kong leon. Nasan si Nidora?”

(And who are you to teach me what is appropriate? Huh? You’re just a slave! A nincompoop! Reveal Nidora’s whereabouts! If you didn’t reveal Nidora, I would have all of you imprisoned. Including all of the EB Babes. I would have you ravaged by my pet lion. Where is Nidora?) [The EB Babes are the resident female dancers of Eat Bulaga. It’s the same group that Anne Boleche belonged to. Anne Boleche played the role of Beyonce a.k.a. YayaMot.]

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Beaten to a pulp, Beyonce was still stubborn though. “I don’t want to tell.” Donya Ariana’s physical and verbal abuse worsened at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Sumagot ka! Sumagot ka!” (Answer me! Answer me!) Beyonce was still defiant. “I don’t want to tell. I told you. I hate you.” Donya Ariana couldn’t care less. “Sabihin mo kung nasan si Nidora!” (Tell me where is Nidora!) Beyonce could only endure so much before she gives in. “Okay! Stop it! Okay! I will tell. She is in the hospital, Senyora.”

Donya Ariana’s overconfidence got the best of her by not asking anything more. [That or there aren’t really that many hospitals in 1945.) She considered the search for Anselmo as a walk in the park. “Konti lang ang hospital dito. Tiyak matatagpuan ko rin agad yang si Anselmo.” (There are only a few hospitals around here. I would surely find Anselmo.)

Beyonce apologized to Nidora in her absence at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Nidora, sorry. I tell your Mom. Sorry, Nidora.” Donya Ariana hasn’t forgotten about Beyonce though. “At ikaw, Beyonce. Hindi pa ako tapos sa yo. Dudurugin kita.” (And you, Beyonce. I am not done with you yet.) She slammed Beyonce with an elbow drop.

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Lola Nidora had to pause reading the diary at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. After the Sugod Bahay errand, she talked to Divina on the phone. “Divina, bilisan mo diyan. May ipapabili pa kong gamot sa ‘yo.” (Hurry up. I need you to buy me medicine.) Divina was soon at Broadway Centrum. She was with Alden to help her pick a dress for the Vic-Pauleen wedding. “San ba? San mo nilagay?” (Where? Where did you put it?)

Alden helped Divina to the dressing room. “Eto na.” (Here.) Lola Nidora talked to Divina. “Hello, Divina. Nasan ka na? Nasan ka na ba?” (Where are you? Where have you been?) Divina hasn’t returned to where Lola Nidora and Donya Tinidora sat at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. She’s at the Broadway Centrum. “Lola, kasama ko po si Alden ngayon kasi kukunin ko po yung damit.” (Granny, I’m with Alden since I had to pick up my dress.)

Lola Nidora was a little suspicious. “Bakit naman kasi si Alden ang pipili?” (Why does Alden had to be the one to pick?) Divina was then checking the dresses one by one. Alden left her first to check on something. Divina didn’t like it that she was left to pick all by herself. Later, Alden asked Divina from where he stood. “May napili ka na?” (Have you picked one?) Divina has checked mostly dresses she didn’t like. “Wala pa.” (None yet.) Alden then called Divina from outside the dressing room at the ALDUB 28th Weekly episode. “Halika dito. May sasabihin ako sa yo.” (Come here. I have something to tell you.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Donya Tinidora had to remind Lola Nidora that it’s Thursday. “Weeksary nila, ate.” (It’s the ALDUB 28th Weeksary.) Seeing that Alden’s not yet done preparing. Lola Nidora slightly distracted Divina. It was also a convenient excuse to remind her which dress should she pick. “Divina, ayoko na maiksi-iksi. Wag yung labas ang likod, hija.” (I don’t want a short dress. Not even backless.) Alden was spreading some petals outside the dressing room. “Sandali lang po.” (Just a moment.) Bossing Vic chided that Alden is making a mess at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

Divina had a little difficulty picking dresses. “Wag daw yung litaw ang likod, sabi ni Lola.” (I was told not to pick a backless dress by granny.) Soon, Divina found time to face Alden. Divina came out and saw Alden with a bouquet of flowers. Alden greeted Divina. “Happy weeksary.” Divina was happy as she thought that Alden had forgotten. Alden then led Divina to the mock garden by the gazebo. He had it prepared for the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

Alden told Divina to sit down. Divina sat where she stood. Alden had to remind her to sit by the bench, not on the floor. “May sorpresa ako sa yo. Hindi diyan!” (I have a surprise for you. Don’t sit there!) Divina has a tendency to take things literally even at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Hindi mo naman sinabi eh.” (You didn’t say so.)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Alden then brought out his gift apart from the bouquet at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Meron akong dinalang hopia. Nung nakita ko kina Lola Nidora at kay Anselmo. Yung mga simpleng bagay, sumasarap at nagiging espesyal pag kasama mo ang mahal mo.” (I brought some hopia [Chinese-inspired bread with filling]. When I saw Granny Nidora and Anselmo. [I thought] Simple food tastes better and becomes special when you are with the one you love.)

Divina tried to lighten the situation. “Baka mabulunan din naman ako.” (I might choke too.) For this, Alden came prepared. “Siempre may dala akong tubig.” (Of course I brought some water.) Divina then shared the hopia with Alden. She helped him bite the hopia. And Alden did the same. It’s just that Divina’s bite was larger. Soon, Divina felt a little choked too. “Alden … Alden, sabi mo, handa ka.” (Alden, you said that you were ready.) Alden kept his word and helped Divina drink some water from a tumbler at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

After eating hopia at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. Alden asked Divina to dance the waltz. There were already dancing for a few seconds when Senator Tito asked. “Di ba puedeng dito na lang kayo magsayaw?” (Can you just dance here [at the stage] instead?) Alden and Divina obliged. They walked to the stage not from Alden’s den but from the side stage. They continued their dance after greeting the audience.

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Lola Nidora realized how Alden and Divina had it easier on their love story. “May mga masasarap talagang balikan. May mga magagandang bagay. Alden. Divina. Naluluha ako kapag tinitingnan ko kayo. Naiinggit ako. Sana marami kayong natutunan sa kwento ko.” (There are things that feels great to recall. Beautiful things. Alden. Divina. I get teary-eyed just looking at you. I feel envious. I hope you’d learn from my story.)

Beyonce was later shown still getting beaten up by her employer, Donya Ariana. “Senyora!” Boss Joey suggested that Beyonce’s beating be done onstage too. “Dito rin kayo magsampalan.” (Slap onstage too.) Donya Ariana was dragging Beyonce around the place. The ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode has officially entered magic realism territory. And while Donya Ariana is at it, she then asked some folks at the KalyeSerye commentary panel. “May nakita ba kayong matipunong lalaki na kumukurap kurap na may kasamang babaeng kulot?” (Have you seen a muscular man that blinks accompanied by a girl with curly hair?) All of them said no.

Boss Joey quipped. “Mukhang nananakit.” (She looked like she naturally hurts people.) Donya Ariana resumed to beating Beyonce. “Hindi ko malalamang kasabwat mo si Nidora?” ([You think] I wouldn’t know that you are conniving with Nidora?) Beyonce’s subject and verbs still don’t agree. “Have mercy to me.” Donya Ariana continued giving her orders despite the bad state that Beyonce had fallen into at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Hanapin mo si Nidora!” (Find Nidora!)

ALDUB 28th Weeksary
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Everyone watching felt bad for Beyonce. ”Naku! Ihuhulog sa hagdan.” (She might be pushed down the stairs.) Donya Ariana was her old confrontational self at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode. “Ilabas nyo si Nidora!” (Bring out Nidora!) Allan K thought that he saw the mic hit Beyonce’s mouth. “Tumama yung mic.” Beyonce could only wince in pain. “Ouch!” Donya Ariana was screaming. “Ilabas nyo si Nidora.” (Release Nidora!) Boss Joey got a little worried. “Baka masampal ito.” (Somebody might get slapped.)

Donya Ariana confronted Allan K too. “Nasan si Nidora?” (Where is Nidora?) Allan K could only say he didn’t know. “Wala akong alam.” (I know nothing.) Donya Tinidora egged Donya Ariana to challenge Allan K to a catfight. “Sabunutan mo.” (Pull her hair.) Allan K insisted. “Hindi ko kilala si Nidora.” (I don’t know Nidora.) A half-lie. Donya Ariana almost gave him an elbow drop. Almost. [Because maybe Paolo can do that to Allan K as Donya Ariana. But to the TVJ, fat chance that Donya Ariana’s rough behavior be imposed on them.]

Because Donya Ariana can’t be too medievally violent towards any of the KalyeSerye commentators, she just turned her attention to some backstage crew. “Kayo mga bakla! Nasan si Nidora?” (You gays! Where is Nidora?) She slapped them and even stole one gay’s hat, exposing the thinning hair. She then returned onstage to ask Alden and Divina. “Kayong dalawa. Nakita nyo ba sina Nidora at Anselmo?” (You. Have you seen Nidora and Anselmo?)

Both Alden and Divina answered at the ALDUB 28th Weeksary. “Hindi po.” (No.) Lola Nidora’s painful memories of her mother, Donya Ariana Zobeyala, reopened old wounds. “At nangyari na nga ang ikinakatakot ko. May nangyaring masama.” (And what I feared has finally happened.) The truck horn honked off at the point. Ending the ALDUB 28th Weeksary on a cliffhanger.

Had the KalyeSerye not been live and not been presented as improv, would the magic realism treatment work? It has yet to be seen. What any worse behavior can be expected from Donya Ariana? Tune in to Eat Bulaga. Monday to Saturday at noontime. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode replay.

For now, everyone is enamored with the ANSERA saga. It may not be “daily” or close to real-time like the Alden-Divina love story. But people appreciated the makeshift period drama that was unfolded. Must have been the off-the-fly comments from the KalyeSerye commentators that reminds everyone that it’s still a soap opera parody after all. How long would this angle be interesting? The subsequent episode recaps like the ALDUB 28th Weeksary will reveal. So follow us on our social media accounts at Facebook and Twitter to be continuously updated. We’d be expecting you.