ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama: ANSERA Volume 7

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama

The ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode opened with a rather sweet number. A DUBsmash performance by Donya Tidora to the tune of Jim Brickman’s “The Gift”. She didn’t DUBsmash the male part of the song though. That was done by the man [not seen] who gave her flowers and a paper bag of food. Donya Tidora was so happy to accept both. She quickly walked towards her sisters.

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tinidora immediately saw Donya Tidora come close to their table. “Kumusta ka na? Ang tagal mong nawala.” (How are you? You’ve been away for so long.) Donya Tidora was just as happy to see them again at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Mga sisters. Kumusta na kayo?” (How are you both?) Lola Nidora gladly replied. “Eto. Okay lang kami. Halika’t umupo at kumain na tayo. Nakapagsupot kami ng pagkain galing sa kasal.” (Here. We’re okay. Come and sit and let’s eat. We packed some food from the wedding.) They still have some food left from the Vic-Pauleen wedding featured at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode.

Donya Tidora saw the packed lunch as focused by the camera at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode.“Ah ito yung galing sa kasal.” (So these are from the wedding reception.) Donya Tinidora confirmed Donya Tidora’s quip. “Oo. Ito yung galing sa kasal. (Yes. From the wedding reception.) Donya Tinidora then turned her attention to Lola Nidora. “Ate? Hindi kita nakita sa picture sa kasal, ate. Bakit wala ka dun?” (I didn’t see you at the wedding photos. How come you’re not there?)

Donya Tidora remembered it too. “Oo nga.” (Yes indeed.) Lola Nidora tried to find her alibi at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Eh kasi naman …” Allan K confirmed seeing someone else. “Andun si Wally.” (Wally was there.) Donya Tinidora reiterated Allan K’s statement. “Andun si Wally. Wala ka dun.” (Wally was there. You’re not.) Lola Nidora clarified her presence at the wedding. “Andun ako. Eh walang tumawag sa akin. Nakatulog ako.” (I was there. But nobody called me [when it’s photoshoot time]. I fell asleep.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tinidora chided Lola Nidora further. “Ate, kitang kita kita dun. Kung makaiyak ka, akala mo ikaw yung magulang nung ikakasal.” (I can see you clearly there. You cry as if you’re the parent of the one getting wed.) Donya Tidora was a little surprised. “Talaga? Umiyak ito?” (Really? She cried?) Lola Nidora downplayed the tears she shed at the wedding. “Ano ba? Naiyak ako sa tuwa. Tuwang iyak yun. Hayaan nyo na ako.” (What now? I cried out of joy. They’re happy tears. Let me be.)

Lola Nidora had to remind Donya Tidora. “Teka nga muna. Tidora. Kumusta yung pinaayos ko sa yo?” (Wait, Tidora. Any updates on the errand I asked you to do?) Donya Tidora shared a little at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Ate, ang dami dami pa palang aayusin na papeles para maibenta natin yung farm sa Zambales. Kailangan pa natin ng malaking halaga para pambayad dun sa mga abogado.” (Elder sister, there are still so many documents to process to sell our farm in Zambales. We need a large amount to pay the lawyer.)

Lola Nidora is cash-strapped herself as of the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Anong gagawin natin? Alam mong makakatulong yan para makakuha tayo ng medyo maganda-gandang bahay. At para sa mga pangangailangan natin. Pero ang dasal ko talaga ay maibalik sa atin yung mansion. Pero mukhang malabo na.” (What will we do? You know that it will help in order for us to get a decent home. And for our needs. But I’m really praying that the mansion be returned to us.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tidora comforted her sister. “Ate, ayan ka na naman eh. Habang may buhay, may pag-asa.” (Here you go again. While there is still life, there is hope.) Donya Tinidora agreed. “Tama. Nasaan nga pala si Divina?” (Correct. Where is Divina by the way?) Lola Nidora addressed Divina’s absence at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Pauwi na yun. May report daw sa school. May inaayos sa klase.” (She’s on her way home. She said she’s got to report in class. She had to arrange something.) Donya Tinidora thought otherwise. “Nagbabakasyon na ha?” (Taking time off, huh?)

Donya Tinidora took the opportunity to get the story continued at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Naalala ko yung kwento ha? Akala ko masaya yung Sabado. Pero biglang dumating yung si Mama.” (I remembered the story huh? I thought it’s already fun last Saturday [ANSERA Volume 6]. But Mama suddenly arrived.) Donya Tidora was perplexed. “Ha?” Donya Tinidora tried to pack the story as quick as possible to Donya Tidora. “Ang ganda na. Nagsasayawan na eh.” (It was already going great. There was dancing.)

Donya Tidora checked if she heard Donya Tinidora right at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Dumating si Mama?” (Mama came?) Donya Tinidora confirmed it. “Yung kwento ni ate. Nagbabasa siya. Kinukwento niya. Eh ang ganda na ng kwento. Nagsasayawan na sila dun sa caracol. Biglang dumating ngayon si Mama. Ang sungit ni Mama. Ang salbahe ni Mama.” (That is according to elder sister’s story. She read it. She narrated it. The story already was great. They were dancing at the venue. Then Mama arrived. Mama was mean. Mama was savage.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tidora tried to mention Donya Ariana’s positive attributes. “Pero maganda di ba?” (But she’s beautiful, right?) Donya Tinidora disagreed at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Hindi rin. Alam mo ang tao, kahit gaano kaganda, pumapangit pag pangit ang ginagawa.” (No. A person, no matter how beautiful, becomes ugly whenever their deeds are ugly.) This was consistent to Lola Nidora’s claim in the ALDUB Love On Top episode that Donya Tidora was their parents’ favorite child. Donya Tinidora still remembered how Donya Ariana mentioned her at ANSERA Volume 6 like a topic worth sweeping under the rug.

Donya Tidora remembered the main attribute she got from their mother. “Mana ako kay Mama eh.” (I inherited it from mom.) Donya Tinidora thought Donya Tidora is referring to Donya Ariana’s bad genes. “Yung masama ugali?” (The mean streak?) Donya Tidora clarified at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode which genes though. “Hindi. Yung ganda.” (No. The beauty.) Allan K acknowledged their similarities as mother and daughter. “Carbon copy ka nga ng Mama n’yo eh.” (You are your Mama’s clone.) Donya Tidora mentioned an actress that looked a little like Donya Ariana though. “Bumi-Bing Loyzaga. Ganun.” (She reminds me of Bing Loyzaga [mole-wise].)

Donya Tinidora went back to pestering Lola Nidora at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Ate?” (Elder sister?) It took awhile before Lola Nidora snaps back to the present day. “Alam nyo ba, mga sister, pag ako’y nalulungkot, binabalikan ko ang mga alaalang dala ni Anselmo nung sumasayaw kami sa baile. Kung minsan, may mga alaala tayo ng ating nakaraan na nakakagaan ng ating kasalukuyan.” (You know, sisters, whenever I am sad, I look back to the memories of the dance party with Anselmo. Sometimes, we have memories that make light of our present situation.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Halfway through Lola Nidora’s nostalgia, the events at the dance party in ANSERA Volume 6 are shown onscreen. It reminded Boss Joey of another classic love team made famous by their dance shows. “Parang Nida-Nestor.” (Just like the days of Nida Blanca and Nestor de Villa.) Lola Nidora recalled being with Anselmo. “Yung panahon na sumasayaw kami ni Anselmo. Sana tumigil na lang ang mundo.” (At that time when I danced with Anselmo. I wished that the world would stop spinning.) Allan K expressed in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode how great Nidora was as a dancer. “Lola, ang galing mo dun sa boojie.” (Granny, you were great at dancing boogie.)

Donya Tidora soon heard music even where she sat. “Ayan o! Naririnig ko na. Mag-boojie ka nga. Patingin.” (There! I can hear it. Do the boogie. Let me see it.) Donya Tinidora doesn’t remember the steps that much though as of the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Paano ba yung boojie mo?” (How was your boogie again?) Lola Nidora summed it up best through her feelings. “Nakakakilig at ang saya saya.” (It gets me giddy and so much fun.)

Donya Tinidora can’t help but observe though. “Alam mo, nung bata ka pa, mahaba ang biyas mo. Umiksi ha?” (You know, when you were young, you had long legs. They got shorter, huh?) Donya Tidora’s heart-stopped upon seeing Lola Nidora’s death-defying dance move for the first time in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “AY!” KalyeSerye commentator Ryan was optimistic that it can be done again though. “Tingin ko, kaya pa ni Lola yan.” (I think granny can still do that.) Boss Joey disagreed. “Hindi na kaya. Maiksi na ang biyas niyan eh.” (No she can’t. Her legs have gotten shorter.)

Mr And Mrs Sotto

Donya Tidora is already worried if Lola Nidora can even do the cartwheel at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode now. “May cartwheel. Kaya mo?” (Can you still do the cartwheel?) Lola Nidora had to be honest. “Hindi na.” (Not anymore.) Allan K suggested trying to dance the boogie again just to check. “Pasayaw nyo kay Rogelio.” (Make the Rogelio dance with you.) Lola Nidora got even more skeptical herself. “Baka itapon lang ako niyan. Saka delikado.” (They might throw me around. And it’s dangerous.)

Donya Tidora thought of her sister’s age too. “Malulutong na kasi ang mga buto mo ngayon. Ang galing mong sumayaw nun ha?” (Your bones have gotten brittle now. You danced great though, huh?) Albeit happy, Lola Nidora tried to divert the topic. “Kumain kayo.” (Come eat.) Donya Tidora can still hear the boogie music. “Sumayaw daw tayo. Ayan na yung boojie oh. Ate, turuan mo kaming mag-boojie.” (They’re asking us to dance. The boogie music is there. Teach us how to boogie.) Donya Tinidora called on the Rogelio’s. “Isayaw nyo si ate.” (Dance with elder sister.) It took Lola Nidora to call all of them at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio! O tatatlo kayo. Tig-iisa tayo.” (There’s 3 of you. We [sisters] should have a partner each.)

Ryan saw the most muscular Rogelio go with Lola Nidora. “Yan! Kaya kayong ibalibag niyan, ‘la.” (There! She can throw you around, granny.) Lola Nidora tries to cartwheel but stops upon seeing the hesitation in Rogelio’s face. “Mukhang hindi ako sasaluhin nito eh.” (He doesn’t look like he’ll catch me.) Donya Tidora partnered with the slim Rogelio. She also saw Donya Tinidora slap the latter’s partner at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Isa pang sampal. Hindi nakita.” (One more slap. It wasn’t shown on the camera.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Turns out that Donya Tinidora’s old habits die hard. She may be dancing with a Rogelio instead of one of the Cuando Cuando Cuando. But she’s still the slapping kind of dancing partner. “Um! Sadista ako nung araw!” (I used to be a sadist!) Donya Tinidora may be dancing. But she can still see Lola Nidora dance still. “Okay! Talon, ate!” (Jump!) Lola Nidora did. But she can’t bring herself to cartwheel at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. Also, Rogelio did not even lift her up to set the stunt. She almost scolded the bodyguard. “Niyakap mo lang ako eh.” (You just hugged me.)

All sisters were dancing at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode when the phone rang. Donya Tinidora was the first to hear it. “Me tumatawag.” (Someone’s calling.) Lola Nidora thought that it’s her phone. Donya Tidora checked her phone too and it was hers that rung. She quickly answered it. “Hello?” Donya Tinidora found Donya Tidora’s tone in answering the phone ay a little too effeminate.

Donya Tidora didn’t hear Donya Tinidora. “Yes, attorney? Ah sige, papunta na ko diyan. Dala ko na yung mga cedula at resibo ng mga amelyar. O sige, bye.” (Okay. I’m on my way there. I already have the community residence certificate and the real estate tax receipts.) Donya Tidora finished the call and excused herself. “Ate, aalis muna ako.” (I have to go.) Donya Tinidora tried to stop Donya Tidora at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Sandali lang. Kararating mo lang. Aalis ka na naman?” (Wait. You just arrived. You’re leaving again?) Donya Tidora replied. “Naghihintay pa si attorney.” (The lawyer is waiting.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Unfazed, Donya Tinidora tried to make Donya Tidora stay by holding her. “Dito ka muna. Kakain pa tayo.” (Stay here. We have to eat.) Donya Tidora tried to let go. “Kelangan kong ayusin itong mga papeles.” (I need to process the papers.) Lola Nidora reminded Donya Tinidora of Donya Tidora’s errand. “Hayaan mo na. At nang magawa na ang mga papeles na yan.” (Let her be. So that she may process those documents.) Donya Tinidora refused to let her sister leave the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Ate, wala akong katulong makinig. Puro ako na lang ang nakikinig dito.” (I don’t have anyone with me to listen. I’m the one who’s doing all the listening.)

Donya Tidora tried to boost Donya Tinidora’s confidence. “Kaya mo yan. Sandali lang ‘to.” (You can do it. I won’t take long.) Donya Tinidora started sounding more like Ging Ging by the minute. “Dito ka na. Wag ka nang umalis.” (Stay here. Don’t go.) Seeing that Donya Tinidora still held Donya Tidora’s hand, Donya Tidora broke the fourth wall in a funny way. “Dito ako magbibihis.” (I’ll dress up here [as Donya Ariana].) Everyone was laughing when Donya Tinidora finally let go of Donya Tidora at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode.

Donya Tidora still tried to promise to Donya Tinidora. “Babalik din ako agad. Sige.” (I’d be back in a jiffy. Okay.) Donya Tinidora broke the fourth wall too. “Sige. Sige. Magiingat ka ha? Babagalan ko lang ang mga tanong.” (Okay. Okay. Take care, huh? I’d slow down on the questions.) Donya Tinidora was referring to the conversation in the Sugod Bahay segment. It would give Paolo Ballesteros ample time in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode to change outfits.

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tinidora then turned to Lola Nidora. “Ate, basahin mo na uli yung diary.” (Start reading the diary.) Lola Nidora opened the diary as requested. “O sige.” (Okay.) Lola Nidora was checking the page where she stopped when Donya Tinidora changed her mind. “Mag-Sugod Bahay muna tayo. Para mamaya, dere-derecho na yung babasahin mo.” (Let’s go to our Sugod Bahay errand first. So that later, you can narrate without continuously [at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode].)

Lola Nidora considered the advice shared at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode as sound advice. “Para hindi na mapuputol.” (So that there will be no interruption.) Donya Tinidora then aired her biggest beef with the way Lola Nidora narrated her diary. “Kung kelan nasa kagandahan, binibitin mo kami eh. Kita mo ‘to. Sinasadya mo talaga eh. Gusto kong malaman anong nangyari sa inyo. Anong nangyari sa sakit ni Anselmo? Si YayaMot, ginulpi ba?” (Just when it starts getting better, you leave us hanging. Look at you. You’re being deliberate. I want to know what happened to you. What happened to Anselmo’s disease? Was YayaMot beaten up again?)

Donya Tinidora has all of these questions. And Lola Nidora only has this to say to set the tone at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Napakasakit ng ginawa sa akin ni Mama. Naging mapusok ako. Naging malupit naman si Mama. Hindi talaga kami magkakaintindihan.” (What Mama did to me was painful. I was raging with hormones. And Mama was cruel. We didn’t meet halfway.) Being the sadist that she is. Donya Tinidora admitted enjoying seeing Beyonce a.k.a. YayaMot. “Gusto ko yung ginugulpi si YayaMot.” (I like how YayaMot gets beaten up.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Lola Nidora felt bad for the closest thing she ever had to a nanny 70 years ago. “Kawawa naman si YayaMot.” (I feel bad for YayaMot.) Donya Tinidora doesn’t share the same sentiment at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Hindi. Okay lang. Ang ganda nga kaya nung ganun.” (No. It’s okay. It’s awesome to see it that way.) [The woman who played Beyonce, Anne Boleche a.k.a. Hopia, was a constant butt of jokes among the resident dancers of Eat Bulaga.] Lola Nidora and Donya Tinidora were off to the next Sugod Bahay winner while waiting for the ANSERA characters to get dressed.

After distributing prizes and entertainment on their next Sugod Bahay winner. Lola Nidora started opening her diary at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Makinig ka na.” (Listen up.) Donya Tinidora is all set. “Nakikinig na ako. Dalawa lang naman tayo dito, ate.” (I am listening. It’s just the 2 of us here.) Boss Joey had to check though. “Hindi pa ba bumabalik si Tidora?” (Has Tidora returned?) Donya Tinidora then complained. “Ang tagal tagal nga.” (She took forever to come back.) Lola Nidora excused Donya Tidora in the latter’s behalf. “Hinatid nga yung cedula at yung amelyar.” (She handled the community residence certificate and the real estate tax receipts.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Once everyone is set for the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode narration. Lola Nidora began. “Dear Diary. Unang araw ngayon ng Pebrero. Pero lubos na nagluluksa ang puso ko sa pagkawalay ko sa aking irog na si Anselmo. Susuko na ba ako? O ipaglalaban pa ba ang pag-ibig namin? Sa bawat hampas at suntok ng mga tauhan ni Mama, parang ako na rin ang binubuntal nila. Kayanin man namin ang sakit ng katawan. Pero ang sakit ng puso ay parang maliliit na tinik na unti-unting tumutusok sa aming buong pagkatao. Bakit ganun ang pag-ibig? Ikulong man ako ni Mama, ang puso ko’y mananatiling kapiling si Anselmo.”

(It’s the first day of February. But my heart is in deep mourning for getting uprooted from my beloved Anselmo. Should I give up? Or should I keep on fighting for our love? For every blow and punch by Mama’s henchmen, it seems as if they’re punching me too. Even if the body endures the pain. Heartaches are like little thorns that seep little by little into our very being. Why is love like that? Even if Mama locked me up, my heart will continuously be with Anselmo.)

Nidora is locked up some place that the audience would find darker than usual. She prayed the rosary in silence. Anselmo is shown at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode DUBsmashing to “Bituing Marikit” by Ric Manrique. Nidora inadvertently replied by DUBsmashing to “Saan Ka Man Naroroon” by Pilita Corales. Anselmo DUBsmashed again. This time to the tune of “Ang Tangi Kong Pag-Ibig” by Diomedes Maturan. Nidora DUBsmashed too. Hers was “Dahil Sa Yo” by [according to Boss Joey] Armida Siguion Reyna.

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Anselmo is pacing around the room when someone arrived. “Pepito. Insan.” Pepito got worried for his cousin. “Hindi ka ba pupunta sa bukid? Tanghali na.” (Aren’t you going to the farm? The sun is up.) Anselmo tried to commit though. “Susunod ako. Magpapalakas lang dahil medyo masakit pa ang aking ulo.” (I’d be following suit. I just need to regain my strength since my head still hurt.)

It didn’t mention if the community knew about Anselmo’s incident with Donya Ariana. But Pepito gave Anselmo something to regain his strength. “Eto. Pinadala ni Nanay itong gatas na ito. Magpalakas ka daw. At dun ka na raw sa amin mananghalian.” (Here. Mother sent it for this [bottle of carabao’s] milk. She told you to get healthy. And have some lunch at home too.) Anselmo appreciated Pepito’s efforts. “Salamat, insan.” (Thanks, cousin.)

Lola Nidora longed for Anselmo at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Sabik na sabik na ako kay Anselmo. Ipinipikit ko lang ang mata ko tuwing maaalala ko siya. Alam namin na kayang kaya namin. Kaya tuwing tanghali, ipinipikit namin ang aming mga mata at iniisip ang isa’t isa. Iniisip namin na magkapiling kami. Iniisip namin na kami’y magkatabi.” (I am so excited for Anselmo. I just have to close my eyes whenever I remember him. We know that we can really do it. So every noontime, we close our eyes and think of each other. We think that we are together. We think that we are beside each other.) Another “magic realism” moment in the ANSERA saga like what happened in the ALDUB 28th Weeksary episode.

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Tinidora liked the premise though. “Ate, ang ibig sabihin pala nun, sabay kayong pumipikit. Parang split-screen lang.” (It means you close your eyes together. Just like a split-screen.) Lola Nidora confirmed Donya Tinidora’s hunch at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Ganun na nga, Tinidora. Puede mong gawin yun.” (Exactly, Tinidora. You can do that too.) Donya Tinidora had to ask to be safe though. “Iisipin ko lang?” (I just have to think it?) Lola Nidora agreed. “Para kahit magkalayo kayo, sa takdang oras, titigil kayong dalawa at ang isa’t isa lang ang iisipin.” (So that even if you are apart, at the designated time, you will both stop and just think of each other.)

Donya Tinidora now loves the process. “Maganda pala yun. Masubukan ko nga. Kaya lang, baka maisip namin, patay na kami. Hindi na ako makakadilat.” (It turned out to be good. I should try it. But we might mutually think that we’re dead. I might not open my eyes again.) Lola Nidora didn’t think so. “Hindi. Diyan ang connection ng puso. Walang malayo. Walang pader. Walang posas. Walang harang. Ituloy ko?” (No. That’s the connection of the heart. Nothing’s far. No walls. No handcuffs. No obstacles. Shall I continue?) Donya Tinidora prodded Lola Nidora at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Tuloy mo.” (Continue.)

Lola Nidora started. “Dear Diary.” Donya Tinidora got distracted at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode again. “Uy, bago yan! Sino si Diary?” (That’s new. Who’s Diary?) Lola Nidora reminded Donya Tinidora of how diary entries usually begin.) “Hindi. Ito yung diary.” (No. Just this diary.) Lola Nidora then resumed reading out loud. “Parang may nararamdaman ako sa katawan ko. Siguro dahil sa pagkakakulong sa akin ng Mama.” (I feel something in my body. Maybe an effect of getting locked up by Mama.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Donya Ariana was at the living room when she called out her maid at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Beyonce. Huling pagkakataon mo na ito, Beyonce. Pag hindi mo inayos ang trabaho mo, pati pamilya mo, pati EB Babes, papalayasin ko kayo sa hacienda! Kailangan hindi na sila makapag-usap ni Anselmo.” (This is your last chance. If you failed to brush up on your job, I would send you, your family and the rest of the EB Babes out of the farm! They must never speak to each other of Anselmo again!)

Beyonce spotted the inconsistency in Donya Ariana’s statements. Her English has minor improvement too. “I thought you don’t want Nidora to bite mosquitoes. You want her in the aircon. So why arrest her, Senyora? Why you have to put her in the stockroom?” Donya Ariana beat up Beyonce again for being too meddlesome in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. Boss Joey partly blamed the maid’s overzealousness. “Sagot pa kasi ng sagot.” (She kept talking back.)

Donya Ariana scolded Beyonce a.k.a. YayaMot again. “Pakialamera ka ha?” (How meddlesome of you!) Beyonce could only complain. “You’re very hurting, Senyora. Violence is bad. Parental guidance. Keep this in mind. What you’re doing is against the RA 9262 law. Anti Violence Against Women and Children Act of 2004.” This was more like the KalyeSerye crew’s reaction to how domestic violence is passed off as comedy in the ANSERA saga like in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode.

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
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Then again, the same crew has an answer to the complain that Beyonce echoed from social media. It was expressed through Donya Ariana at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Tumigil ka! Hindi pa uso yan ngayon! Wala pang ganyang batas! Kaya tumigil ka! Isa kang hampaslupang alipin ko! Kaya’t sasaktan kita kung gusto ko!” (Shut up! That law is still not the trend today! That law doesn’t exist yet! So stop! You are my scumbag slave! So I will hurt you whenever I feel like it!) She then dealt Beyonce with an elbow drop. Allan K found Donya Ariana harsh. “Grabe si Mama ano?” (Mama is too much, isn’t she?) KalyeSerye haters often forget that the parody concept is still very much alive in this segment.

Donya Ariana’s twisted sense of parenthood got even weirder though at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Katulad ni Nidora, tinuturuan ko lamang kayo ng leksyon. Ako na lang ang magpapahirap kay Nidora. Kaysa naman paghihirap dulot ni Anselmo na dala ng kanyang kahirapan.” (Like Nidora, I am just teaching you a lesson. I will just make Nidora suffer myself. Rather than she suffer due to Anselmo’s poverty.) [Loose Translation: I don’t care if may daughter suffers as long as I dish out the lessons.] Beyonce found it disturbing too. “Bad ka, Senyora. That is bad, remember.”

Donya Ariana hates getting her methods questioned too. Especially by her own maid. “Papalabasin ko rin naman siya eh. Pakialamera ka lang kasi. Sige na. Pakainin mo na si Nidora. At kakausapin ko siya mamaya.” (I will be sending her out anyway. You just like to butt in. Go ahead. Feed Nidora. I will talk to her later.) Beyonce saw how Donya Ariana used her crutch as weapon again. “Can you please get my crutch?” Donya Ariana held the crutch pointed at her as the sound of artillery was heard at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Sige. Pakainin mo na.” (Go ahead. Feed her.)

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Apart from the “split-screen” moments. Lola Nidora knew little of what happened to Anselmo. “Ilang araw na akong walang balita kay Anselmo. Kamusta na kaya siya?” (It’s been days since I last heard anything about Anselmo. How is he?) Boss Joey saw on the other monitor how Anselmo winced in pain again. “Sumasakit yung kisme.” (His hair hurt.) At the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. Lola Nidora felt physical pains too. “Nararamdaman ko ang pangungulila. Kasabay ng iba’t ibang sakit na nararamdaman ko.” (I could feel the longing. Alongside various feelings in me.)

Beyonce carried Nidora’s tray of food despite having difficulty in walking with a crutch. “How are you? You’re still pretty like YayaMot.” Nidora felt guilty at the sight of Beyonce’s wounds. “Hindi pa pala nawawala ang mga sugat sa katawan mo. Sorry ha? Pasensiya na.” (Your wounds haven’t healed yet. I’m sorry. My apologies.) Beyonce didn’t want Nidora to worry about it anymore at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “No worries. As I told you, they will be back, remember? I will endure everything for you. All the punch to the right, punch to the left. Hit back and forth. I don’t care. As long as you’re okay. I’m okay.”

ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama
Source: Eat Bulaga Facebook Page

Nidora could only thank the maid. “Maraming salamat sa yo, Beyonce.” Beyonce felt a little guilty at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode too. “I just want to apologize. Coz nowadays I can’t go to Anselmo. Before your Mama has few guards. Now so many. They are looking after me. I can’t sit. I can’t go. But you know what? I have a strong feeling. You and Anselmo will have perfect life. Okay. Just hold on. Don’t give up. Okay? I love you.” Nidora thanked her again for the little info she provided. “Salamat, Beyonce.” Beyonce prodded Nidora to eat. “You eat now. I bring you a lot. Drink your milk.”

Nidora wasn’t feeling well. Later, she ran to the toilet room. Beyonce got worried for her ward. “Nidora … What happened to you?” Nidora didn’t answer. But the sound of Nidora throwing up is heard. Beyonce had to ask Nidora again. “Is your tummy cold? Have you eat not better last night?” Nidora tried to appease Beyonce while staying in the toilet room. “Okay lang ako, Beyonce. Okay lang ako.” (I am okay.) But at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. Beyonce started fearing the worst. “Nidora? … Cannot be. Cannot be.” Beyonce had to wait for Nidora to come out before asking. “Nidora, are you pregnant?” The truck horn honked off. Ending the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode on a cliffhanger.

Boss Joey thought that it escalated quickly. “Ano kayang nangyari? Biglang naduduwal ah. Nag-boojie lang eh.” (What could have happened? She’s suddenly throwing up. It was just boogie.) Allan K heard Nidora throw up too at the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. “Oo nga. Naduduwal eh.” (Yeah. She puked.) All Boss Joey thought of was the boogie at ANSERA Volume 6. “Yung pagikot-ikot na yan. Baka may nangyari na. Di lang natin alam.” (That spinning. Something might have happened. That we don’t know.)

What kind of “boogie” could it be? It takes 2 to tango. Or in the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode, it take 2 to boogie. And it takes to like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode replay. Subscribing to Eat Bulaga’s official YouTube channel would also help satisfy your curiosity.

Things are heating up after the ALDUB Bagsik ni Mama episode. Did the KalyeSerye go where the story is not supposed to be? Or expected? Alden Richards and Maine Mendoza has yet to even kiss. And there’s a speculation of a character pregnancy. More episode recaps to come just to check if ever we missed anything. To keep yourself abreast of the latest episode recaps, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We’d be expecting you.