[Today’s episode title, Mr and Mrs Sotto, is in reference to the wedding between one of the founding fathers of Eat Bulaga. Bossing Vic Sotto and co-host Pauleen Luna. One of the few episode titles that does not have the word “ALDUB” in it.] Donya Tinidora was plucking a flower to the rhyme of “He loves me. He loves me too.” Lola Nidora hugged her diary to continue reliving her love story with Anselmo.
Donya Tinidora had to orient her sister [and the viewers as well] of Bossing Vic’s absence at the KalyeSerye commentary panel. “Andun na ha? Nagre-relax na si Marvic. Tapos yung bride, andun na ha? Nagme-make up na rin.” (He’s already there. Marvic is now relaxing. The bride has also relaxed too. She’s started on her makeup.) Boss Joey had to verify at this point in the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Yung pari ha? Hindi yan yung paring nagkasal sa pamangkin ni Nidora.” (The priest. He’s not the one who wed Nidora’s grand-niece.)
Donya Tinidora assured Boss Joey at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ay hindi po. Hindi yung nagkasal kay Frankie? Yung dinakip.” (No. The one who wed Frankie? The one who got arrested.) Senator Tito inserted a little inside joke to elicit Donya Tinidora’s reaction. “Naghirap daw si Frankie eh. Natalo sa basketball.” (Frankie allegedly fell into hard times. He lost at the basketball bet.)
Donya Tinidora denied it. “Hindi. Ikaw ang natalo. Kala mo, nakakalimutan na ni Jose yan ha?” (No. You lost. You thought Jose has forgotten about it, huh?) Senator Tito can’t help but laugh it off at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. Donya Tinidora then reminded Lola Nidora to continue her story. “Ate, ituloy na natin ang kwento. Tungkol sa baile.” (Elder sister, let’s continue with the story. About the dance party.)
Lola Nidora opened her diary at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Eto na ang pagpapatuloy ko. Dear Diary. Eto na siguro ang pinakamasaya kong araw. Ngayon lang kami magiging malaya bilang magkasintahan. Yun lang ang iniisip ko sa oras na yun. Ang baile ang pinakamasayang araw sa buhay ko.” (Here is the continuation. Dear Diary. This might be my happiest day. We only experienced freedom as lovers today. That is all on my mind at that time. The dance party is the happiest day of my life.)
Nidora was outside the venue with Anselmo. “Handa na ako, Anselmo.” (I am now ready, Anselmo.) Anselmo’s happiness at the Mr and Mrs Sotto was boundless. “Nasasabik ka na ngang makilala ng mga kaibigan ko. Lalo na yung kababata kong nagkakaroon ng kaarawan.” (My friends are excited to meet you. Especially my childhood friend who’s having a birthday.) Both of them stood up and prepared themselves. Nidora volunteered to check on Anselmo’s clothes. “Teka. Ayusin ko muna ang damit mo.” (Wait. I need to prep up your clothes.)
Nidora just dusted off some dirt from Anselmo’s shirt and fixed his collar. “Ayan. Kitang kita na ang pagkakisig ng katawan mo, Anselmo.” (There. Your handsome physique is now obvious, Anselmo.) Anselmo was a little worried about his trousers. “Hindi ba masyadong mataas ang bewang?” (Isn’t it a little too high for my waist?) Nidora thought otherwise. “Hindi naman. Uso yan eh.” (Not really. It’s the trend.)
Anselmo can’t help but hear things close to where they stood. “May naririnig ka ba?” (Do you hear anything?) He must have been referring to some commentary in the background. [Not loud enough to be heard on TV though.] Nidora didn’t hear them. “Hindi. Ikaw lang ang naririnig ko.” (No. You’re all that I hear.) Anselmo got extra worried at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Parang may nagsasabi kasing itaas ko raw ang pantalon ko.” (As if someone is telling me to raise my pants.) Nidora just thought that Anselmo is hearing things. “Guni guni mo lang yan, Anselmo. Tara na.” (They’re just in your head. Let’s go.) Hand in hand, Anselmo and Nidora entered the venue.
Elsewhere at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. Donya Ariana’s entourage kept the search for Nidora. Whether it included the presidential assistance that Donya Ariana requested in ANSERA Volume 5 is uncertain. Donya Ariana “Pakiramdam ko, andito lang sina Anselmo at Nidora. Naaamoy ko sila …. Ano ba? Sabi ko, mag-deodorant ka!” (I fell that Anselmo and Nidora are just nearby. I can smell them ….. What the heck! I told you to apply deodorant!)
Beyonce was outside the car, walking with a crutch. Donya Ariana asked her henchment at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Si Beyonce ba yang nakikita ko?” (Is that Beyonce that I see?) Her driver Crispin answered. “Opo, Senyora. Kasama po.” (Yes, Madam. She’s with us.) Donya Ariana must have forgotten that she’s part of the entourage since she made her walk on her own. “Pues, very good. Kunin nyo si Beyonce. Bilis!” (Very good. Fetch Beyonce. Quick!)
Apparently, Beyonce wasn’t part of the entourage. On why she walked alongside Donya Ariana’s car was unclear. Nevertheless, Beyonce was appalled at seeing Donya Ariana. “Senyora? Why you here? I thought you’re in Zambales.” Donya Ariana’s mind games started functioning at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Akala mo lang yun. Nagbago nang isip ko. Sayang lang ang oras. Kailangang matagpuan ko na si Nidora at si Anselmo.” (That’s what you thought. I changed my mind. Time is wasted. I need to find Nidora and Anselmo.)
Donya Ariana revealed how worried is she of Nidora at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Nagaalala ako sa aking anak. Baka walang aircon ang kanyang silid. Sensitive pa naman ang balat nun. Isang kagat ng lamok, kurikong agad.” (I am worried for my child. Her room might not have airconditioning. She has sensitive skin. A minor mosquito bite would induce warts.) Allan K found it a little exaggerated at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Talaga? Wala sa hitsura.” (Really? It wasn’t very obvious.)
Donya Ariana mentioned how high her expectations are. “Ayokong mabuhay nang mahirap ang aking anak. Napakaganda ng aking anak. Ng mga anak ko. Lalo na si Tidora. Si Tinidora …” (I don’t want my child to be poor. My child is so beautiful. My children [are so beautiful]. Especially Tidora.) Boss Joey tried to ask indirectly at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ano si Tinidora?” (How about Tinidora?) Donya Ariana almost dropped the topic. “Change topic.” Donya Tinidora felt a little hurt. “Okay ha?” Almost. Donya Ariana then mentioned her youngest daughter among the triplets. “Sa father’s side siya nagmana. Hindi ko siya kamukha.” (She got her looks from her father. I don’t look like her.)
Beyonce, despite the broken English, still tried to talk some sense to Donya Ariana. “Senyora, but they love each other. Let them love each other.” Donya Ariana does not appreciate advice from a slave. “Let them? Shut up! I do not need your opinion!” Donya Ariana steals Beyonce’s crutch and cocks it. The sound of gunfire is heard. Donya Tinidora found the sound of gunfire from a crutch to be funny. “Pinatay.” (Killed it.) Allan K thought how it escalated quickly at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Saklay yun. May bala?” (That’s a crutch. It has a bullet?)
Beyonce could only complain. There is some improvement on her English though. “You’re so bad, Senyora. Parental guidance is recommended. Violence is bad.” Donya Ariana had enough of Beyonce’s broken English. “Tama na yan, Beyonce. Samahan mo ako. Hindi matatapos ang araw na ito. Makikita ko ang dalawang yun. Ipamigay ang posters.” (Enough, Beyonce. Come with me. Before this day will end. I will see those two. Distribute the posters.) Beyonce tried to get her crutch back. “Senyora. Senyora, my crutch! Senyora, how can I walk?” Donya Ariana left Beyonce to fend for herself. “Kaya mo na yan.” (You can handle yourself now.)
Lola Nidora remembered the blindside that Donya Ariana committed at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Lingid sa kaalaman namin, hindi naman pala umalis sa aming bayan si Mama. Ang araw na ito para sa akin ay Valentine’s Day kahit Enero pa lang.” (Unbeknownst to us, Mama did not go out of town. This is an early Valentine’s Day for me even if it’s just January.)
Anselmo braced himself in introducing Nidora to his closest friends. “Nasasabik na akong makilala ka ng aking kaibigan.” (I am thrilled to introduce you to my friends.) Nidora was just as thrilled. “Ako rin. Malapit na ba tayo?” (Me too. Are we getting close now?) Anselmo was by the doorstep. “Konti na lang. Konting tiis na lang.” (Just a little more.) A big band played boogie music live onstage upon their arrival at the venue. People were dancing on the floor having fun. Nidora had some punch drinks on the side. [Dancers consisted of the That’s My Bae finalists and the EB Babes at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode.]
Outside, Donya Ariana kept berating Beyonce for her inefficiency at distributing the posters. They had new posters using a different photo of Nidora. This was a stark contrast to the festivities going on at the dance party. Anselmo was delighted at the dancers that he and Nidora saw upon their arrival. “Napakahusay!” (Magnificent!) Nidora enjoyed what she saw while having some fruit punch to drink at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ang huhusay naman nila.” (They are amazing.)
Anselmo then approached the celebrant while talking to Nidora at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ipapakilala kita kay Camilo. Camilo, maligayang kaarawan.” (Let me introduce you to Camilo. Camilo, happy birthday.) Nidora greeted Camilo too. “Maligayang kaarawan, Camilo.” (Happy birthday, Camilo.) Anselmo presented Nidora to Camilo and his friends. “Ang aking irog na si Nidora.” (My beloved, Nidora.) Camilo and the rest of the guests was just as happy to see her.
Anselmo could only be amazed at how grand the party is. “Napakaengrande ng iyong kaarawan, kaibigan.” (Your birthday party is so grand, my friend.) Camilo and the rest of his close buddies then asked Anselmo. “Ipakita mo naman kay Nidora yung napakagaling mong sayaw. Ang husay husay mo naman eh.” (Show Nidora your dancing skills. You’re very good at it.) Nidora egged Anselmo just as well at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Sumayaw ka naman.” (Please dance.) Anselmo was hesitant. “Hindi na. Ako’y nahihiya.” (No need. I am shy.)
Nidora believed Anselmo can dance brilliantly. “Kaya mo yan!” (You can do it.) Anselmo’s friends [and the audience present at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode as well] started cheering for him. “Anselmo! Anselmo! Anselmo!” Soon, Anselmo gave in to the request. “O sige.” (Okay.) Anselmo entered the stage on his own. But not before dedicating his dance to Nidora. Anselmo noted at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Nidora, para sa iyo ang sayaw na ito.” (This dance is for you.) Nidora wished him good luck. “Galingan mo, Anselmo.” (Make it good, Anselmo.)
Once Anselmo was done with his number. Nidora ran to hug him. “Napakahusay! Napakahusay mo, Anselmo! Payakap nga. Ang husay mo. Hindi ko alam na sanay ka palang sumayaw ng ganun.” (Magnificent! You’re brilliant, Anselmo! Let me hug you. You were amazing. I didn’t know that you are used to dancing like that.) Soon, it was the girls’ turn at the Mr and Mrs Sotto to urge Nidora to dance. “Nidora, kami naman ang ayain mo sa sayawan. Sanay ka namang sumayaw sa kolehiyo natin.” (Take us dancing too. You were used to dancing in college.) Nidora may be with her college friends. But she’s having apprehensions. “Hindi ako sanay. Nahihiya ako.” (I’m not used to it. I’m shy.)
Anselmo urged her to dance too. “Ikaw naman ang pinakamaganda sa kanila. Ipakita mo ang iyong galing. Naaalala mo? Tayo’y nag-ensayo.” (You are the most beautiful among them. Show them how good you are. Remember? We practiced.) Nidora acknowledged it. “Ng boogie [/boo-jee/]. Naaalala ko.” (Boogie. I remember.) Anselmo emphasized the practice sessions further at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Boojie Wonderland.”
Anselmo’s words were not enough to boost Nidora’s confidence. “Nahihiya ako, Anselmo.” (I am shy, Anselmo.) Anselmo kept convincing her. “Sige na. Ipakita mo na, Nidora.” (Come on. Show them what you’re got, Nidora.) After some further prodding. Nidora agreed. “Sige na nga. Para sa iyo ito, Anselmo.” (Okay. This is for you, Anselmo.) Boss Joey found Anselmo’s choice of words a little “dated”. “Boojie Wonderland ha?”
Nidora was already on the dance floor when she felt like backing out. Her friends only stopped her. That’s when she just let herself be. Once she started dancing, the rest of the girls followed her at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. This happened while Crispin and his cohorts started pasting posters under the orders of Donya Ariana.
Nidora apologized after her dance number was done. “Pasensiya. Hindi ako masyadong nakapaghanda.” (My apologies. I was not very prepared.) Anselmo found her claim incredulous. “Seryoso ka ba talagang hindi ka nakapaghanda?” (Are you serious when you said that you failed to prepare in time?) Nidora confirmed it slightly at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Hindi masyado, Anselmo. Pero sana nagustuhan mo.” (Not really, Anselmo. But I hope you liked it.) Anselmo loved it. “Pero napakahusay ng iyong sayaw.” (But your dance was great.) Camilo then signaled the dance party to continue. “Tuloy ang sayawan.” (Keep on dancing.)
Nidora and Anselmo started dancing together the boogie at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. They still call it the “boojie” after Anselmo’s pronunciation mishap. Their feet wasn’t sore enough unlike Donya Ariana. Shown in a different area. Donya Ariana’s feet are sore from walking all over town. Anselmo and Nidora then performed once of the high-risk moves ever performed on the dance floor.
Senator Tito felt his heart stop upon seeing the performance.“Takot ko ah.” (That scared me.) Boss Joey was more than impressed. “Hanep! Buwis-buhay!” (Awesome! And high risk too!) Allan K was shocked in a good way. “In fairness!” Anselmo then acknowledged the talent that Nidora had. “Sabi ko naman sa yo. Tayo’y hindi mapapahiya.” (I told you. We will not be embarrassed.) Nidora didn’t think that she practiced enough. “Hindi tayo nag-ensayo ng lagay na yan.” (We don’t have enough practice at that case.)
Anselmo confirmed the lack of practice. “Hindi tayo nag-ensayo. Ika’y napakahusay on the spot.” (We did not practice that much. You were amazing on the spot.) Nidora found Anselmo just as great. “Ikaw din. Napaligaya mo ako, Anselmo. Salamat sa pag-imbita sa akin dito.” (You too. You made me exhilaratingly happy. Thanks for inviting me here.) Anselmo felt the same at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Mas lalo ako. Ako’y lubusang naliligayahan. At nawawala ang aking mga nararamdaman kapag kasama kita.” (All the more for me. I am overflowing with joy. I lose my pain whenever I am with you.)
Nidora had to catch her breath at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Teka lang, Anselmo. Huminga muna tayo.” (Wait, Anselmo. Let’s breath for awhile.) Upon regaining her strength. Nidora invited Anselmo to the dance floor again. “Gusto ko pang sumayaw, Anselmo.” (I want to dance more.) Anselmo felt the same too. “Gusto ko pang sumayaw. Ano? Tara na?” (I want to dance more. What now? Let’s go?) Nidora agreed.
Anselmo and Nidora returned to the dance floor. Sweet music played to the tune of “Blue Moon” at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. Allan K recognized the tune and sang along. It was at this point in the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode that Donya Ariana arrives at the party venue. Furious that the lovebirds managed to party in her supposed absence. Anselmo was also feeling bad at this point. A clear sign that he’s out of energy.
For a doyenne perceived as educated, prim and proper. Donya Ariana tends to act like some uneducated housewife who left her manners at home as of the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Tama na yan! Itigil ang kaguluhang ito!” (Enough! Stop this ruckus!) Nidora hid behind Anselmo at Donya Ariana’s arrival. Donya Ariana suddenly remembered her manners the moment she realized the crowd present at the dance party.“Nidora. Anak. Halika na, anak. Sumama ka na kay Mama.” (Child. Come. Come to Mama.)
Donya Ariana’s mind games kept on. “Hija, nagaalala lang naman ako na baka di ka alagaan ni Anselmo.” (Dear, I am just worried that Anselmo will not take care of you.) Nidora kept hiding behind Anselmo. Donya Ariana mentioned the rest of her plans at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Hija, pupunta tayo sa America. Hindi ba, anak, gusto mong pumunta dun?” (We will go to the United States. Isn’t it, child, that you wanted to go there?)
Nidora’s defiance stayed on. “Mama, sa piling lamang po ni Anselmo ako magiging maligaya. Mama, pabayaan nyo na po kami.” (I will only be happy in Anselmo’s place. Please let us be.) Donya Ariana broke the 4th wall again. “Wag mong painitin ang ulo ko! Mainit na sa wig!” (Don’t get me furious! This wig is getting me sweaty!) Allan K laughed hard again at Donya Ariana’s quip at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode.
Donya Ariana set aside her manners again. The audience present be damned. “Masama akong magalit, Nidora. Alam mo yan!” (I have a bad temper, Nidora. You know that!) She pushed Beyonce aside to prove her point at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. Nidora asked her mother to stop her cruelty to the poor maid. “Huwag!” (No!) Beyonce could only complain in futility. “It’s very ouch ha?” Anselmo had to beg Donya Ariana’s mercy in case there is still any mercy left in her. “Senyora, nagmamakaawa po ako sa inyo. Patawarin nyo po kami.” (Madam, I beg you. Please forgive us.)
Donya Ariana found it useless to talk to Anselmo at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ayaw kitang kausap, Anselmo. Isa kang hampaslupang kukurap kurap!” (I don’t want to talk to you, Anselmo! You’re just a scoundrel that keeps on blinking!) Nidora tried to tell Donya Ariana to watch her words. Anselmo though was hurt. “Ang hard nyo naman po.” (You’re too hard on me.) Donya Ariana ended up giving Anselmo a piece of her mind though. “Hindi ikaw ang nababagay sa anak ko. Halika na, Nidora.” (You are not the one who deserved my daughter. Let’s go, Nidora.)
Nidora still refused to obey her mother. “Mama, ayoko.” (No.) Donya Ariana repeated what she announced at the venue. “Pupunta na tayo sa America.” (We will go to America.) Nidora and Anselmo tried to run outside. Beyonce tried to keep Donya Ariana distracted at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Go away! Go away! Go away!” Anselmo and Nidora ran outside the venue only to encounter Crispin and his men.
Nidora feared the worst. “Anong gagawin nyo? Tigilan nyo! Ano ba?” (What are you going to do with him? Stop! What are you doing?) Donya Ariana laughed like a hyena on steroids hungry for fresh meat at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Akala mo, makakatakas ka, Anselmo.” (You thought you can get away with this, Anselmo.) The men immediately separated Nidora from Anselmo. Then they started beating on the poor man.
Nidora could only scream as another henchman held her away. “Bitawan nyo siya!” (Let go of him!) Donya Ariana urged her henchmen to continue. “Sige! Bugbugin nyo yan!” (Go ahead! Beat him up!) Nidora found Donya Ariana too cruel. But she tried to ask her to stop. “Wag! Tigilan nyo yan! Mama, patigilin mo sila.” (Stop! Mama, make them stop.) Beyonce tried to ask Donya Ariana too. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Apparently, Donya Ariana has no concept of human rights. She was a worse power-tripper than Lola Nidora herself though. “Ilang beses bang bugbog ang gusto mo?” (How many times do you want to be beaten up?)
Anselmo tried to be polite in his defiance at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Senyora, kahit ilang beses pa po ninyo akong ipabugbog. Hindi po matatawaran ang pagmamahal ko kay Nidora. Ang totoo po niyan, mamamatay na po ako. Kaya’t ang hiling ko sa inyo’y ibigay nyo na ang huling sandali ng aking buhay kasama ang anak nyo. Parang awa nyo na po. Yun lang po ang aking hiling.” (Madam, no matter how many times you get me beaten up. My love for Nidora is boundless. The truth is I am dying. That’s why my request is that you grant the last moments of my life with your daughter. I beg you. That’s all I ask for.)
Nidora only learned of Anselmo’s terminal illness at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Mama, parang awa nyo na. Pakawalan nyo na po si Anselmo, Mama.” (Please have mercy. Let go of Anselmo, Mama.) Donya Ariana’s more of a sadist than a protective mother at this point. “Hindi nyo ako makukuha sa pakiusap nyo. Crispin, isakay na itong si Nidora sa auto. Bilis!” (You can’t move me with your request. Crispin, take Nidora to the car. Quick!) Nidora tried to get away. “Bitiwan nyo ako!” (Let go of me!) Nidora got away from the henchmen and embraced Anselmo. The men failed to stop the hug from happening.
Anselmo begged Nidora. “Nidora, wag mo kong iiwan.” (Don’t leave me.) The men tried to separate them again. They continued with their cruelty to Anselmo as Nidora screamed. Donya Ariana blocked the path so in case Nidora escapes from the henchmen again, they don’t get to embrace again. Nidora confronted her mother despite Crispin’s tight grip. “Mama, tapusin na natin ito! San nyo ba ko dadalhin?” (Let’s get this over and done with! Where are you taking me?)
The men continued beating up Anselmo. They weren’t efficient enough. Anselmo’s having migraine attacks again. Yet he escaped the thugs in time to see Nidora in the car. Also, the car didn’t run fast enough to stop the lovers from seeing each other. [Also, at this point in the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode, the audio started going choppy.] Anselmo’s suspenders have fallen off. Once he ran out of energy, the car ran out of gas too. Donya Ariana ended up pushing the car herself. Crispin et al were really inefficient at the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode.
Donya Tinidora realized how hard it must have been for Lola Nidora as of the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode. “Ate, ang sakit pala ng dinanas mo.” (What you went through was hard.) Lola Nidora’s story was a tough one. “Oo. Yan ang nagpatigas ng puso ko.” (Yes, it hardened my heart.) Donya Tinidora closed the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode once the truck horn honked off. “Napakasakit po ng nangyari kay ate. Naiiyak po ako. Napakalupit naman po ng Mama. Nagawa niya po ang lahat ng yun na pigilin ang kaligayahan.” (What happened to elder sister was painful. I felt like crying. Mama was so harsh.)
What lies ahead with the now Mr and Mrs Sotto? The rest of the wedding highlights are on the official Facebook page of Eat Bulaga. Subscribe to their official YouTube channel as well to see the rest of the KalyeSerye replays while you’re at it.
How hard must Donya Ariana be in her quest of disciplining her daughter? Raging hormones aside. Donya Ariana overreacted. Then again, it’s 1945. Who knows what kind of parenting is the norm at that time? For more episode recaps like the Mr and Mrs Sotto episode, follow us on our social media accounts. Like our official Facebook page, The Philippines Web. And follow us on Twitter @pinasamazing. We’d be expecting you.
