I don’t sleep well at night. I suspect it all started after I gave birth to my children, especially the last one, my daughter. Hormones got something to do with it, and now it’s gotten worse because I’m in perimenopause.
Some nights I sleep well enough, some nights I don’t.
More often than not, it takes me a while to fall asleep. Most nights too, I wake up between two to five in the morning—it takes me up to two hours to go back to sleep.
Over the years, I’ve learned not to resist my insomnia. As a result, I’ve developed ways to cope. We all need our brains to work in the morning. This is especially true if you’re a mom like me who also has a full-time job.
I’m sharing with you my insights in the hopes that my struggles might be of some help to you. I’ve found some methods that have worked for me, and I hope they might work for you too.
I begin my sleeping prep by following the basic rules: I avoid computers or mobile phones an hour before sleep, I wear comfortable sleepwear, and I try my best to maintain a sleep-conducive bedroom. But aside from these basics, I have a few extra tricks.
I work online, so, for me, avoiding the computer or the mobile phone near bedtime is a challenge. What I do, though, is keep my devices out of my bedroom. Out of sight is of mind, as they say.
My workspace and sleeping area are separated by a sliding door. My bedroom is dedicated to one purpose alone: sleeping. I have conditioned myself to think that once I retreat to this quiet space during bedtime, I’ll have nothing to do with work or electronic devices.
Before I lie down in bed, I take a light shower. Then, with my skin still wet, I do some yoga poses. I’ve read somewhere that lowering my body temperature helps promote sleep, and so far, this advice works. After yoga, I put on my pajamas, and then I plop into bed, and I write in my journal.
When I write my thoughts by hand, I unwind. Writing has always been my way of connecting with my inner power, my intuition. That’s why it’s vitally important for me to journal every night before sleep. Sometimes, journaling makes me feel drowsy, but sometimes, I still feel restless afterward. If that’s the case, then I read a book, a physical book, and not an e-book. This last activity calms me down enough to slip into unconsciousness.
Before I finally close my eyes, though, I strap on my smartwatch. The device serves as my sleep tracker. Some people don’t like to know their sleep data because it aggravates their insomnia, but I do. I need to know how well I slept the night before, and this is only possible with the use of a health app.
The next morning, I check my sleep stats to understand the quality of my sleep, including the duration and amount of REM, deep, and light sleep. If I wake up feeling lousy, I will know the exact reason why.
What happens when I finally close my eyes? Does sleep come immediately after? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. In complete darkness, and under the sheets, I clutch my Tibetan prayer beads. Because I’m an atheist, I don’t do chants. I count my breaths or positive things that happened during the day as my sleeping meditation.
Naturally, then, my mind wanders. I free-associate. And eventually, sleep happens. But the story doesn’t end there.
More often than not, I’m jolted awake in the wee hours of the morning, my mind running and active.
What do I do then? Well, I’ll save that tale for another time.
