Lola Nidora was alone in reminding the replacement players at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Yan. Ganyan. Pagbutihin nyo ang paghahanda para sa sportsfest. Diyan muna kayo. Mag-stretching-stretching muna kayo. Mag-training kayo. Paghahandaan muna namin yung birthday ni Marvic.” (There. Like that. You better be prepared for the sportsfest. I’ll leave you for the meantime. Have some stretching exercises. And train. We’d be ready for Marvic’s birthday for the meantime.)
Lola Nidora called the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio. “Dalhin mo itong bag ko. Dalhin natin dun.” (Carry my bag. Let’s take it there.) She pointed at the direction where Donya Tinidora stood. Donya Tinidora was still her dancey self at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. But since it’s the day before the birthday party. Donya Tinidora played “Tayo’s Magsayawan” (Let’s Dance!) by VST and Company. [VST was Bossing Vic’s former pop band in the 70’s as a lead vocalist.)
Allan K immediately noticed Donya Tinidora’s backup dancers. “Ang ma-macho ng kay Tinidora.” (Tinidora’s dancers are very masculine.) Allan K was being sarcastic. Of course. Ryan saw Donya Tinidora’s antics though. “Parang DJ.” (Like a DJ.) Donya Tinidora pretended to have a turntable in front of her at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Siempre. Wala na. Yung mga bangkay ko, tumirik na.” (Of course. It’s a goner. My zombies have stiffened.)
Lola Nidora may not know what a turntable is. But at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. She saw the vinyl records that Donya Tinidora brought for the preparations. “Wow! Kumpleto pa rin pala ang collection mo.” (Your collection is still complete.) Donya Tinidora took pride in them. “Kinukumpleto ko talaga ang koleksyon ng VST & Company. Dahil fan na fan ako ni Marvic.” (I really completed the VST collection. Because I’m a major fan of Marvic.)
It made Lola Nidora reminisce at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Oo. Hindi mo nga mapigilan ang sarili mo tuwing pupunta tayo ng Broadway, ano?.” (Yes. You can’t even stop yourself every time we go to Broadway, right?) Donya Tinidora didn’t directly admit her particular fascination with Marvic a.k.a. Bossing Vic. “Ate naman. Natutuwa lang sa tuwing nakikita ko. Kaya dapat kina-career na natin itong mga sorpresa natin.” (Elder sister, please. I’m just happy whenever I see him. So we should be serious in our surprise.)
Lola Nidora agreed. “Ay. Oo naman. Eto nga’t may dala akong pancit. For long life. Meron din akong dalang cake. Para sa celebration yan ni Marvic.” (Of course. Here. I have brought some pancit. I brought a cake too. For Marvic’s birthday celebration.) Donya Tinidora was skeptical of Lola Nidora’s pancit brought at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode though. “Yung pancit mo. May sabaw pa. Panis na yan bukas.” (Your pancit is somewhat brothy. It will be rotten by tomorrow.)
As Lola Nidora and Donya Tinidora discussed whether the pancit would make it on the birthday bash. Boss Joey chose to pick on Donya Tinidora’s appearance at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Hoy! Maglagay ka nga ng nipple tape!” (Put nipple tape on.) Donya Tinidora coyly covered her torso with a sheepish smile. “Sori. Nagdadalaga.” (Sorry. I just reached puberty.)
Divina shortly arrived dancing while holding a bouquet. The bouquet brought at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode looked similar to the bouquet given at the ALDUB 41st Weeksary episode. She then greeted the grannies. Donya Tinidora saw Divina’s teeth. “Yang ngipin mo! Kakakain mo ng candy. Nakadikit na lahat sa ngipin mo.” (Your teeth! You ate so much candy. It got stuck on your teeth.)
Lola Nidora downplayed the choco-stained teeth seen at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Ngiti ngiti nga dahil dito sa candy bouquet niya oh.” (She’s all smiles because of her candy bouquet.) Divina replied. “Hindi, lola. Masaya lang po ako.” (No, granny. I’m just happy.) Lola Nidora retorted. “Oo nga naman. Masayang masaya ka. Masaya rin akong nakikitang ganyan ka.” (Yes. Of course. You’re very happy. I’m happy too to see you like that.)
Divina’s overall mood at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode was upbeat. “Lola, wala naman po kasing rason para sumimangot di ba? Dapat nakangiti lang lagi.” (Granny, there isn’t any reason to frown, right? You should always be smiling.) Lola Nidora knew better. “Lalo na meron kang candy bouquet. Divina, wag kang magkunwari ha? Galing kay Alden yan.” (Especially when you have a candy bouquet. Divina, stop pretending, huh? That’s from Alden.)
Donya Tinidora knew where this is going. “Alam mo naman, ate. Kung sino talagang nagpapasaya sa apo natin.” (You already knew, elder sister. On who is making our grand-niece happy.) Allan K strongly agreed. “Naman!” (Of course!) Donya Tinidora sensed on who is about to appear next at the ALDUB Porever Mahal episode. “Ayan. Lalabas yan. Tingnan nyo.” (There. It’s about to come out. Look.) Alden then appeared on his den DUBsmashing to “Ikaw Lang Ang Aking Mahal”.
Lola Nidora greeted Alden “Hello. What’s up, hijo?” Divina saw Alden too. “Alden, thank you nga pala sa gift mo kahapon ha? Saka dito sa bouquet.” (Thanks for your gift yesterday. And for this bouquet.) Alden replied. “Oo naman. Candy na bouquet.” (Certainly. [He then highlighted a recent gaffe.]) Divina then offered some. “Ang tamis nga eh. Gusto mo ba?” (Yes. It’s sweet. Want some?) Alden liked to try at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.
Alden is fine with any piece. Divina then prepared a piece and handed it by “camera transmission”. Divina handed a piece of white chocolate to Alden. Alden then received a red jelly bean candy. The transmission allegedly changed the candy from chocolate to jelly bean. Divina then prepared a knock-knock joke at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.
Divina started it. “Knock knock.” Alden asked. “Who’s there?” Divina inserted a plug in her joke introduction. “Dahil may bago kang restaurant, Concha.” (Because you have a new restaurant, Concha.) Alden asked again. “Concha who?” Divina started singing to the tune of “Butsikik”. “Conchayla. Chichiri Conchayla!” Donya Tinidora liked Divina’s joke at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Ang galing galing ng apo namin!” (Our grand-niece is brilliant!) Allan K dared Alden. “Sagutin mo yan, Alden.” (Retort back [a joke], Alden.)
Alden has a prepared pickup line though. “Eto. Alam mo, Divina. Puede ko bang hawakan ang kamay mo?” (Here. You know, Divina. May I reach for your hand?) Divina asked. “Bakit?” (Why?) Alden replied. “Para naman maipagmalaki ko na naabot ko na ang pangarap ko.” (So that I may be proud to claim that I finally reached for my dreams.) Alden then DUBsmashed “Ako’y Sa Iyo, Ika’y Sa Akin” at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.
Divina has another joke in store. “Eto nga, Alden. Ang tanong ko. Anong pinagkaiba mo sa halaman?” (Here, Alden. My question. What is your difference to a plant?) Alden bought some time to think about it at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Sandali. Ako sa halaman? Hindi ko alam eh.” (Wait. Me with a plant? I don’t know.) Divina then explained. “Ang halaman kasi nasa paso. Ikaw? Nandito sa aking puso.” (A plant is in a pot. You? You are planted in my heart.)
Boss Joey found more similarities with Allan K. “Walang pinag-iba kay Allan.” (It doesn’t have any difference with Allan.) Donya Tinidora had to ask. “Bakit?” (Why?) Boss Joey replied. “NanghaHALAMAN ito eh.” (He’s seeking for men.) Alden then tried to dish an actual joke at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Ano karaniwang sakit ng mga martial artist?” (What is the typical disease of a martial artist?) Divina asked. “Ano?” (What?) Alden replied. “E di KUNG FLU.”
Big Bang’s “Fantastic Baby” played. And Divina tried to keep a poker face at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Donya Tinidora quipped. “Kala ko, martial arthritis. Meron pa ba?” (I thought it’s martial arthritis. Got anything else?) Alden tried to crack another joke. “Divina, ano yung punong hindi puedeng akyatin?” (What tree cannot be climbed?) Divina got to think quick. “Yung nakatumba.” (The one chopped down.)
Alden pretended not to feel affected after another busted joke. “Okay lang, Divina.” (I’m okay, Divina.) Divina just retorted. “You know you taught me.” Alden somewhat cracked a joke that Divina already knew. “Parehong pareho yung iniiisip.” (We have the same train of thought.) While Allan K and Donya Tinidora discussed what could have been Alden’s answer. Alden just defended Divina at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Si Maine. Tama siya.” (It’s Maine [that is correct]. She’s correct.)
Divina tried to appease Alden’s ego. “Pero alam mo, Alden. Sa ‘kin, sana doctor ka na lang talaga eh.” (But you know, Alden. For me, I hope you’re just a doctor.) Donya Tinidora tried to anger Alden more. “Gandahan mo sagot mo, Alden. Gumanti ka.” (Answer with a good one. Avenge yourself.) Alden just asked. “Bakit?” (Why?) Divina explained. “Para nasasabi ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko sa yo.” (So that I could tell you everything that I feel.)
Divina started DUBsmashing again. “Na-miss kita. Miss na miss kita.” (I miss you. I miss you very much.) Alden tried to reply at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode after Divina’s DUBsmash clip. “Kahit di naman ako doctor. Puede mo namang sabihin eh. Ano ba nararamdaman mo?” (Even if I’m not a doctor. You can tell me. How do you feel?) Divina went coy. “Secret! Ano ba? Wag mo nga akong ginaganito. Lola, mabalik po tayo sa inyo.” (What? Don’t do this to me. Granny, let’s get back to you.)
Donya Tinidora got startled for being used as a topic shifter. “Wag mo kong aanuhin.” (Don’t use me.) Divina had to get back at Alden. “Huy, Alden! Inaano ka ba?” (What have I done to you?) Alden had to change the topic at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal instead. “Di ba nagbigay ako ng malaking box?” (Didn’t I give you a big box?) Divina confirmed it. Alden then reminded Divina. “Gamitin mo yun bukas ha?” (Use it tomorrow, okay?)
Divina did not confirm if it’s the same box she received from the ALDUB 40th Weeksary episode. Or if Alden sent her another box. “Ay! Oo naman. Ang ganda kaya. Bagay na bagay.” (Certainly. It looked great. Just suits me right.) Divina then switched her attention to Donya Tinidora. Donya Tinidora then remembered her question at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “May itatanong nga pala ako.” (I have something to ask.)
Donya Tinidora cited her vinyl collection. “Kasi nung mga collection ng VST. Me sorpresa na ba kayo kay Marvic?” (It’s the VST Collection. Have you prepared your surprise number for Marvic?) Divina said yes. Donya Tinidora admitted her skepticism. “Baka mamaya wala ha?” (You might not have prepared anything.) Alden then replied. “Actually, lola. Okay na po kami ni Divina.” (Granny. We’re okay of Divina.)
Lola Nidora was shocked with Alden’s statement. “Ano? Okay na kayo ni Alden?” (What? You [Divina] are now okay with Alden?) She interpreted it as Alden going steady with Divina as of the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. She was so shocked that Allan K saw the remote feed at the KalyeSerye location go black. “Nawala tuloy.” (We lost them.) In less than a minute, Lola Nidora was back on air. “Hindi kayo nagsasabi sa akin na kayo na pala!” (You didn’t tell me that you’re going steady now!)
Divina had to clear the air at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Okay na po sorpresa namin para kay Bossing.” (Our surprise number for Bossing Vic’s birthday is okay now.) Alden had to speak too. “Lola, relax lang po kayo.” (Granny, please relax.) It somewhat appeased Lola Nidora. Divina got worrid. “High blood again si Lola.” (Granny’s blood pressure immediately shot up.)
Donya Tinidora spoke while waiting for Lola Nidora to regain her composure. “Maganda ba yang gagawin nyo?” (Is your performance good?) It gave Alden an opportunity to slightly brag. “Naku, lola. Sinasabi ko talaga sa inyo, lola. Never before seen.” (Granny, I am telling you. Never before seen.) Divina seconded Alden’s statement at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “ Bago po ito, lola. Ngayon lang po namin gagawin ito. ALDUB po ito. Mapapanganga po kayo. Promise.” (This is new, granny. We’d only get to do this now. The ALDUB brand. You’d drop your jaw in awe.)
While Donya Tinidora was skeptical at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Lola Nidora was concerned about the embarrassment. “Baka naman mamaya. Kung anu-anong gawin nyo sa birthday ni Marvic ha? Hindi yun circus.” (You might do random stuff at Marvic’s birthday, huh? It’s not a circus.) Alden already knew some things about surprises though. “Alam nyo naman tayo, lola. Mahilig tayo sa mga surprises eh.” (You know us, granny. We’re fond of surprises.)
Divina just pleaded with the grannies. “Magtiwala po kayo. Bongga po ito. Bongga. Special po ito kasi siempre. Para kay Bossing.” (Trust us. This would be fabulous. Fabulous. This would be special because of course. It’s for Bossing.) Alden agreed albeit fumbling in his lines. “Kuya? Ay, kuya! Lola, kayo po? Ano ni-ready nyo?” (Elder! Oh snap! [Wrong line.] Granny, what about you? What did you prepare?)
[“Kuya” actually meant “elder brother”. But in the Filipino context. “Kuya” is often used to address an older person. Not old enough to be called “Tito” (Uncle). But not too young either to be called on a first-name basis as shown at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.] Donya Tinidora replied. “Eto, kuyakoy.” (Here, some “kuyakoy” [the act of swinging feet above the ground.].)
Donya Tinidora then went back to the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode format. “Kami pa ba, Alden? Wag mo kaming ginaganyan. Lagi kang ganyan, hijo. Parang lagi mo kaming hinahamon. Hindi kami magpapahuli. Kami pa ba? Hello?” (You’re trying us, Alden? Don’t treat us like that. You’re always like that, son. It’s as if you’re always daring us. We won’t be left behind. Us? Hello?) Alden denied provoking Donya Tinidora though. “Huy! Grabe ka, lola!” (You’re too much, granny!)
As Donya Tinidora discussed the preparations, the Cuando Cuando Cuando arrived at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Allan K asked. “Kala ko ba nailibing na ang mga yan?” (I thought they’ve been buried already.) Alden saw some of them on stretchers at the ALDUB 41st Weeksary episode. “Kala ko po ba hinika na mga ito?” (I thought these men had an asthma attack.)
Donya Tinidora summoned the Cuando Cuando Cuando. “Hindi. Pakikitaan lang namin kayo na ready kami para kay Bossing.” (No. We would just show you that we are ready for Bossing.) Lola Nidora looked behind her where the Cuando Cuando Cuando stood. “Kaya pala nag-amoy nitso.” (That explains the smell of the tomb.) Alden then asked for a sample of their performance. “Sige nga po, lola.” (Go ahead, granny.)
The in-house pianist at the Broadway Centrum played the keyboard for Donya Tinidora’s sample performance. Donya Tinidora altered the lyrics of one of VST & Company’s songs. [More like an improv touch by Jose Manalo through Donya Tinidora at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.] Donya Tinidora finished her performance teaser shortly. “Sample pa lang yan ha?” (That’s just a sample, huh?)
Divina liked Donya Tinidora’s performance so much. “Galing galing mo, lola.” (You were so great, granny.) At the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Lola Nidora’s high praises for Donya Tinidora were identical with that of Divina. Donya Tinidora thanked them both. Alden was just as amazed. “Idol ko talaga kayo.” (I really idolize you.)
At the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Donya Tinidora turned her attention then to Lola Nidora. “Ikaw naman, ate. Ano ba? May naihanda ka ba. Bumabalik ka na naman sa pagkabata.” (Your turn, elder sister. What now? Have you prepared anything? You’re going back to your childhood.) Lola Nidora was twiddling with her thumbs on the side. “Naglalaro lang ako ng brick game. May hinanda rin ako. Nahihiya ako.” (I was just playing [pretend] brick game. I prepared something too. I’m shy.)
Divina found it funny. Soon Lola Nidora was egged to provide a sample of her tentative performance at Bossing Vic’s birthday bash. She asked the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio to accompany her. [They were complete again. So no word as to whether Rogelia would be back or not after the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode.] Another song by VST & Company, “Rock Baby Rock”, played on the background.
Lola Nidora’s dance moves were stunted by her shyness. Alden found it entertaining though. “Lola, patingin nung hiya. Uy!” (Let me see your shy face.) The sampler performance at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode was soon done. But Lola Nidora still enjoyed singing the lyrics. “Sa bawat galaw ng iyong katawan.” (With every move of your body.) Donya Tinidora found new lyrics to alter and parody.
Divina complimented Lola Nidora’s performance teaser. “Ang galing nyo po, lola. Kahit nahihiya po kayo.” (You were great, granny. Even if you felt shy.) Alden wasn’t used to it though in a funny way. “Lola, first time ko kayong nakitang nahiya ng ganyan.” (Granny, it’s the first time for me to see you that shy.) Lola Nidora had a simple reason for her shyness at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Maraming tao.” (There are too many people.) Donya Tinidora retorted. “Patikim pa lang yan.” (That’s just a teaser.)
Alden later had instructions. With special mention on Divina at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Divina. Mga lola. Lalo ka na, Divina. Sana maaga ka dito bukas para ma-polish natin.” (Divina. Grannies. Especially you, Divina. Hopefully you’d be early enough here tomorrow so that we’d polish [our performance].) Donya Tinidora heard Alden wrong. “Paaalisin mo?” (You’re sending us away?)
Alden had to repeat what he said. “Hindi po. Polish, lola. Lilinisin.” (No, “Polish”, granny. We’d clean the performance up.) Donya Tinidora heard Alden. “Kala ko paaalisin mo.” (I thought you’re sending us away.) Alden then reminded Lola Nidora’s entourage again at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Lola, wag po kayong mawawala ha?” (Don’t go anywhere, huh?) Donya Tinidora’s sarcasm attacked again. “Alden, bata pa kami.” (We’re still young enough [to die].)
Alden had to clarify his request. “Hindi po. Wag po kayong mawawala dito sa Broadway. Sa party po ni Bossing.” (No. Don’t go anywhere other than here at Broadway Centrum. At Bossing Vic’s birthday party.) Donya Tinidora then said yes. That’s when Lola Nidora remembered the problem looming at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Pero may problema tayo, Tinidora.” (We have a problem, Tinidora.) It mildly irritated Donya Tinidora. “Ano na naman yang problema mo?” (What is your problem this time?)
Lola Nidora voiced out her concern at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Yung sportsfest ni Chairman, ala una pala magsisimula.” (Chairman’s Sportsfest would start at 1pm.) Donya Tinidora wasn’t aware of it. Not one bit. “Eh papano yan? Baka di tayo umabot sa birthday. Hindi puede yun.” (How now? We might not make it to the birthday bash. It cannot be.) Lola Nidora sounded apologetic. “Nakaligtaan ko nga sabihin.” (I forgot to tell you.)
Lola Nidora turned to Divina. “Baka puede naman niyang i-move yung schedule.” (He might be asked change the schedule though.) Divina didn’t think so. “Lola, malabo po yun. Di naman po sila maga-adjust para sa atin eh.” (Granny, that’s unlikely. They won’t be adjusting [their schedule] for us.) Donya Tinidora then suggested at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Naku, Divina. Wag ka na lang kaya um-attend sa pagmu-muse mo dyan sa sportsfest na yan?” (Divina, what if you don’t attend instead on that sportsfest as a muse?)
Divina was against the suggestion. “Lola, hindi naman po puede. Naka-oo na po ako sa kanila.” (Granny, that is not possible. I’ve already said yes to them.) Donya Tinidora quickly thought. “Akong bahala. Kukuha ako ng proxy.” (Leave it to me. I’d get a substitute.) At the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. Divina was against this suggestion too. “Lola, first time ko lang pong magmu-muse. Saka puede po ba yun? May proxy yung muse?” (Granny, it’s my first time to be a muse. And is that even allowed? To get a muse substitute?)
Even Alden wasn’t fine with getting a substitute. “Di po puede yun, lola.” (Granny, that can’t be the case.) Lola Nidora took Divina’s side at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “May point si Divina. Ang commitment ay commitment. Wala nang bawian kapag naka-oo ka na.” (Divina has a point. A commitment is a commitment. No backtracking once you said yes.)
Donya Tinidora insisted her stand at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Ate, hindi puede! Kailangan magpunta tayo kay Marvic.” (Elder sister, it can’t be! We need to go to Marvic.) Alden can’t think of a solution though “Lola, pano po yun? Pag pinupuntahan nyo po yung sportsfest? Baka hindi po kayo makaabot sa party ni Bossing.” (Granny, how now? If you went to the sportfest? You might not make it to Bossing’s party.)
Lola Nidora was just as confused at the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode. “Eh di papano nga ito? Anong pupuntahan natin? Yung sportsfest o yung party ni Marvic?” (So what now? Where do we go? To the sportsfest or to Marvic’s party?) The truck horn honked off. Ending the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode on a cliffhanger. Lola Nidora switched to a different pose in time for the honk.
How difficult would this be for Lola Nidora’s entourage? Tune in to Eat Bulaga. Monday to Saturday at noontime. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch the ALDUB Poreber Mahal episode replay.
Eat Bulaga’s recent uploads on YouTube and Facebook aren’t HD level lately. The episodes somewhat shortened. Would we get back on some previous episodes in time? You’ll never know until you like our official Facebook page, The Philippines Web. And follow us Twitter @pinasamazing too while you’re at it. We’d be expecting you.
