The ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode served as the KalyeSerye’s Halloween special. The KalyeSerye commentators Senator Tito Sotto and Boss Joey de Leon wore Arabian clothes as Halloween attire. Bossing Vic Sotto on the other hand chose something more familiar. He came as one of the Cuando Cuando Cuando of Donya Tinidora. Besides it served as a throwback to one of his hit alter-egos in the 90’s – Ernie Barong. (Ernie Barong was Bossing Vic Sotto parodying ABS-CBN’s original weather forecaster Ernie Baron.)
So far, only Donya Tidora and Donya Tinidora were on location as the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode officially kicked off. Both of them were dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West. (Not the Elphaba look though.) Donya Tinidora has addressed her audience of Cuando Cuando Cuando. “Eto na ang araw. Ang araw ng ating mga Cuando Cuando Cuando. Happy fiesta!” (This is the day. The day of the Cuando Cuando Cuando. Happy feast!) October 31 is Halloween. The day before the more commemorated occasion of Day of the Dead. Hence an important occasion for Donya Tinidora’s zombie army.
Donya Tinidora’s zombie army may be the undead. But she made sure that the Cuando Cuando Cuando still remembered their place in the world. The cemetery. Hence asking them about their living relatives. “Nabisita na ba kayo ng mga kamag-anak nyo? Kayo kasi. Puro kayo ang dumadalaw sa kanila.” (Has your relatives visited you? It’s your fault. You’re the ones visiting them.) Donya Tidora made a generic reminder to everyone dead or alive watching the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Importante magtirik ng kandila.” (It is important to light candles.)
YayaDUB was also at the scene dressed as Bella Swan Cullen. The pale look gave her that “married to a vampire” giveaway look. She has WAY MORE facial expressions than Kristen Stewart though. Donya Tinidora mildly teased about somebody’s presence again. “Yung pambansang merienda nandito. Nandito si Vico kanina.” (The national snack is here. Vico was here awhile ago.) Not sure if Donya Tinidora just said this to play with the ALDUB Nation’s feelings or if Bossing Vic’s son Vico Sotto is really in the vicinity. Lola Nidora hasn’t arrived on the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode yet. So the other grannies took over the Sugod Bahay errand for the meantime while waiting for her.
After the Sugod Bahay errand, a red SUV arrived close to where YayaDUB and the grannies stood. It was Alden in Edward Cullen gear complete with trench coat for the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola Halloween special. He paid his respects to the grannies. And almost kissed YayaDUB’s hand. YayaDUB was happy. But she was quick to remind Alden of the immediate task at hand. “Alden, kailangan nating mahanap yung alahasan.” (Alden, we have to find the jewelry box.)
Later in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode, both Alden and YayaDUB were exchanging DUBsmash tracks. The grannies had to slightly remind the couple that they are here. Another SUV arrived bringing Lola Nidora over to the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. And some sense too in case Alden and YayaDUB get carried away with their DUBsmash tracks again. “Tama na yang kilig-kilig na yan! Meron tayong importanteng misyon na gagawin!” (Enough of that giddy feeling! We have an important mission at hand!) As usual, she’s paranoid.
At least there was an effort for Lola Nidora to be brave. “Dapat lahat tayo’y maging matapang! Wala sa pamilya natin ang duwag!” (We should all be brave! There are no cowards in the family!) Donya Tinidora immediately quipped. “Ate, daga!” (Elder sister, a rat!) Lola Nidora screamed. It took awhile to pacify here and get everyone in her SUV. The ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode will get our beloved ALDUB and the grannies to the haunted house. The Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio stayed behind literally to keep watch. The KalyeSerye commentators went to commercial mode while waiting for Lola Nidora’s entourage to reach the house.
Albeit a little more scared than Lola Nidora. Donya Tidora was the first to hop off the red SUV. The house was located on a seemingly remote area. Maybe not so remote after all. It was found on Google Maps anyway. Still the non-concrete road gave audiences an idea that the house in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode was abandoned. Also, it was found in the middle of the woods.
Donya Tinidora fell asleep at the back of the SUV. “Natutulog ako. Di nyo naman ako ginising.” (I was sleeping. You didn’t wake me up earlier.) Lola Nidora wanted to make sure that everyone mentioned in the diary, albeit not by name, can enter the house. “Ang sabi naman sa diary, kaming magkakapatid, si Alden at si Yaya lang.” (According to the diary, we sisters, Alden and nanny are the only ones to enter.) This means the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio will stay behind. It turned out to be a wise decision for Donya Tinidora in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode to leave behind the Cuando Cuando Cuando.
Lola Nidora asked for a moment of silence together with the entourage before entering the house at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. After the moment of silence. Lola Nidora asked for her sisters’ support. “Wag nyo kong iiwan. Dyan lang kayo.” (Don’t leave me. Stay close.) She then tried to knock on the door. No answer. Donya Tidora tried to knock on the door herself. “Ako na lang. Di ka marunong kumatok.” (I’d do it. You don’t know how to knock.)
Donya Tinidora was about to knock when she remembered the key. Everybody then prodded Alden to try the keys as he still held it in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Still it won’t open. The keys that Alden found in the dumpster days ago might not be for the door. With this realization, the sisters prodded Alden and YayaDUB to knock at the door together. It worked.
Lola Nidora then told her sisters to go. “Mauna kayo. Susunod ako sa inyo.” (Go first. I will follow you.) Both sisters protested as Lola Nidora held the diary. Alden entered first as precautionary measure. With the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio stuck outside. Alden had to man up for the rest of the entourage. If ever there were elements that scared Lola Nidora at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode, they were mostly Donya Tinidora’s pranks. Donya Tinidora would occasionally point the flashlight to her face. Making her look like one of the zombie army she commanded. YayaDUB on the other hand seemed close to tears.
The house was dark. The only flickers of light were from the entourage’s flashlights and some sun rays that slipped through the cracks. Close to the staircase was a light bright enough to show a woman’s portrait. Lola Nidora saw the portrait. “Ito yung tinutukoy sa diary na magandang larawan ng babae.” (This is the beautiful woman’s portrait according to the diary.) Donya Tidora was aghast. “Maganda yan? Alis na tayo!” (You call that beautiful? Let’s go!) [It was Wally Bayola’s face photoshopped on another vintage photo used for the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode.] YayaDUB confirmed that the woman on the portrait was the scary woman haunting her in her dreams. Light flickered close to where the entourage stood. A blackout followed.
The KalyeSerye commentators can’t see anything where they sat. But they can hear the sisters frantically talking among themselves. Once the lights came back. YayaDUB and Alden were found embracing each other. Donya Tinidora’s sarcasm kicked in again at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Sandali po. Sinehan po ito. Bawal po dito.” (Excuse me. This is a movie house. You can’t do that here.) It immediately snapped the couple back to what needs to be done the soonest time possible. Again, Alden followed closely by YayaDUB led the entourage upstairs.
The second floor had better lighting. But it’s still dependent on some open windows allowing some sunlight in. As Alden, YayaDUB and the grannies checked out the area, a voice was later heard. “Umalis na kayo dito!” (Get out of here!) Everyone in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode screamed. YayaDUB scampered blindly in the room. Lights did not flicker. Lola Nidora tried to keep her composure. “Ano ba kayo? Walang susuko!” (What the heck! No surrender!) Donya Tinidora got strayed from the entourage though. The ladder steps must have gotten her jittery again. Old habits die hard.
Later, Lola Nidora, Donya Tidora and Donya Tinidora saw something scary. They all screamed. Upon closer look, Donya Tinidora realized that it’s just a mirror. The Kalye’s Angels ended up getting scared of their own reflection. Lola Nidora felt a little embarrassed. “Ano ba naman kayo? Di nyo sinasabi. Ang oily ko na pala.” (What the heck! You didn’t tell me. I already looked so oily.) Suddenly, something fell producing a loud thud on the floor.
It was an antique chair. Nobody kicked anything in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Lola Nidora wondered aloud. “Bakit naggagalawan ang mga gamit?” (How come the objects are moving?) Donya Tinidora slightly broke the 4th wall. “Siempre naggagalawan ang mga gamit. Horror nga eh!” (Of course the objects are moving. It’s a horror episode!) So chances are there is a poltergeist in the house. Despite the fear, the entourage continued. Alden and YayaDUB even found time to exchange DUBsmash tracks.
Donya Tinidora had to burst their bubble again. “Sori po. Tapos na po yung pelikula. May hinahanap pa tayo.” (Sorry. End of movie. We are still searching here.) As the entourage walked further, they saw their grandmother’s picture. Lola Nidora confirmed it. Donya Tinidora was so scared. She almost burned her hand from a candle nearby. YayaDUB wanted to go home. “Lola, umalis na po kaya tayo.” (Granny, what if we should leave now?) Lola Nidora was confused herself at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Aatakihin ako sa hika.” (I’d have asthma attacks here.) Then a spectre was seen before the entourage realizes it. Once they did, they all screamed. Another blackout followed.
Again, the KalyeSerye commentators can hear everyone in the house. But no lights. Bossing Vic almost yelled. “Ilaw! Ilaw!” (Light! Light!) When the lights went back at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Lola Nidora almost thought that they’re lost. “Parang isa lang yung pinupuntahan natin.” (It seems like we only end up in one place.) Another blackout set in once she said that. It was at this point that the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode started having camera angles too shaky to see everyone in one frame. Almost like Blair Witch but you can still see all the colors.
You know at one point in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode that Alden ends up hugging the wrong person. He did. He ended up hugging the spectre or “white lady” that taunted them. YayaDUB saw it. She can’t hide the anger in her voice. “Alden! Alden! Sino yang kayakap mo? Magpaliwanag ka! Sino yung kayakap mo? Magpaliwanag ka!” (Alden! Alden! Who are you hugging? Explain yourself! Who are you hugging? Explain yourself!) Alden tried to explain. “Mali! Sila nag-present nun! Mali! Mali!” (My mistake! They presented that! My mistake! My mistake!)
Lola Nidora quickly stopped the fight from going further. “Wag nga kayong nag-aaway!” (Stop bickering!) Again, she noticed Donya Tinidora missing. “Asan ang kapatid natin na isa?” (Where is our other sister?) Donya Tidora looked around and found a human skull. She cried thinking it was Donya Tinidora. Lola Nidora scolded her in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Hindi yan si Tinidora!” (That’s not Tinidora!) Senator Tito agreed. “Hindi yan. Makinis eh.” (That’s not her. It’s smooth.) YayaDUB joined in the search to distract herself.
They found Donya Tinidora later at a corner resting. Lola Nidora raised her voice again. “Nagpapahinga ka lang pala diyan.” (So you’re just resting there.) Donya Tinidora could only say “Opo”. The KalyeSerye commentators had to remind him that the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode is not yet over. So Gasgas should talk later. Then Donya Tinidora said. “Hindi nyo ko dinadalaw.” (You don’t visit me.) Lola Nidora found her quip as odd. “Anong hindi dinadalaw?” (What do you mean we don’t visit you?) Donya Tinidora repeated herself about the lack of visits.
Later in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode, Donya Tinidora had a seizure after Lola Nidora tapped her. Turns out that Donya Tinidora was possessed. Lola Nidora got seizures too after tapping Donya Tinidora. This transferred the spirit from Donya Tinidora to Lola Nidora. Donya Tidora, Alden and YayaDUB could only watch and be bewildered at what’s happening to the sisters. Then it was Lola Nidora’s turn to speak. “Bakit hindi nyo ako dinadalaw? Hindi nyo ako naaalala.” (Why are you not visiting me? You don’t remember me.) Lola Nidora was old. But she never walked like that.
YayaDUB then approached Lola Nidora. The tap got both of them into a seizure at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. The spirit then transferred to YayaDUB and spoke again. “Kinalimutan nyo na ba ako? Ni hindi ninyo ako pinupuntahan. Bakit?” (Have you forgotten about me? You don’t even come to me. Why?) Alden then tapped YayaDUB on the shoulder. “Meng, okay ka lang?” (Meng, are you okay?) Together, they had a seizure too. The spirit transferred to Alden at this point in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. It scared YayaDUB.
The spectre spoke through Alden at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Ni hindi nyo kami pinagtitirik ng kandila. Nasan ang kandila?” (You don’t even light candles for us. Where are the candles?) YayaDUB got worried. Donya Tidora then came closer to Alden and got a seizure herself. The spectre left Alden’s body and transferred to Donya Tidora. But instead of talking. Donya Tidora went on all fours. Lola Nidora got worried because Donya Tidora won’t talk while on all fours. Donya Tinidora then tapped Donya Tidora and got into another seizure.
Donya Tinidora herself got into all fours too. But she was more like crawling on the floor. Or doing the crocodile dance. Lola Nidora tapped her again and got into another seizure. Then YayaDUB. Then Alden. Before it goes into wash-rinse-repeat mode. Donya Tinidora commented again. “Pumunta tayo dito para lang mangisay tayong lahat?” (We all went here just to have seizures?) There was a life-size Christ figure nearby and nobody thought of an exorcist. Because it can be scary when done wrong.
Donya Tidora then tapped Alden. By the time the spectre has transferred to her, the seizure was already mild. Shortly after, Donya Tidora snapped. “Anong nangyari?” (What happened?) This was when Lola Nidora realized what actually happened. She pulled out her rosary and tried commanding the spectre within Donya Tidora with it. “Umalis ka! Umalis ka! Lubayan mo ang kapatid namin!” (Get out! Get out! Leave our sister!) Donya Tidora has seizures again. So maybe the spectre hasn’t totally left her after all in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Donya Tinidora tried sending out the spirit too. When it was Alden’s turn to send the spectre away, the spectre said. “Okay. Bye bye!”
Donya Tinidora could only retort in a way she can do best. “Halika ka na dito. Di ka naman mabiro o!” (Come here! Can’t take a joke?) Apparently by the time Lola Nidora, Donya Tinidora and Alden were sending the spectre out of Donya Tidora’s body. Donya Tidora was already herself. The skull on Donya Tinidora’s hand was a minor distraction before the entourage was reminded of their task.
YayaDUB and Alden were exchanging DUBsmash tracks. Again. It was as if they were making up for lost time. Later, Donya Tinidora was seen carrying a little box above her head. Before everyone could confirm if this was the jewelry box mentioned in the diary, everyone danced. Soon the spectre was shown dancing along too at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Then another blackout.
Lola Nidora is exhausted at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. But they needed to find the jewelry box. “Kelangan mahanap natin yun. Hinahapo na ko.” (We need to find that. I am tired.) Donya Tinidora was then shown holding nothing once the lights returned. The KalyeSerye commentators then noticed that both Alden and YayaDUB are missing. A lady’s voice was then heard on the background. “Hindi ko sasabihin.” (I won’t tell.) Alden appeared though, also looking for her. “San po si Maine?” (Where is Maine?)
Instead of answering Alden’s question. Lola Nidora asked Alden instead. “San ka ba pumunta?” (Where have you been?) Alden replied. “Naghanap lang po ako ng CR.” (I just looked for the toilet.) Lola Nidora was half-disappointed, half-paranoid. “Naku! Ngayon ka pa naihi? Wow!” (And you felt like peeing now? Wow!) Donya Tinidora tried looking for YayaDUB herself. At the risk of getting lost herself in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode.
Upon finding YayaDUB. Donya Tinidora dragged her back to the group. She somewhat scolded her in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Wag ka ngang layo nang layo! Baka mamaya masaniban ka na naman! Ang importante magawa natin ang misyon natin. Kalimutan natin yang mga takot-takot na yan!” (Don’t stray away! You might get possessed again! What’s important is to accomplish the mission. Let’s forget our fears.) Lola Nidora agreed.
YayaDUB had a deja vu in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode.. “Parang ito po yung tinuturo nung babae sa panaginip ko eh. Eto po yung lugar, lola.” (This seems like the place that the woman in my dreams is referring to. This is the place, granny.) Lola Nidora had to be sure. “Eto na talaga yun?” (This is really it?) Donya Tidora’s exasperation showed in her voice. “Ngayon mo lang napansin? Kanina pa tayo takbo nang takbo dito! Pagod na pagod na tayo!” (You only noticed now? We’ve been running around here since awhile ago! We’re all tired!) YayaDUB apologized. “Lola, kasi po, hindi po ako sigurado kanina.” (Granny, I wasn’t so sure awhile ago.) Lola Nidora took YayaDUB’s side. “Eh hindi naman pala sigurado!” (She wasn’t so sure after all!)
Donya Tinidora was tired herself. “Tama na! Pawis na pawis na ko!” (Enough! I’m so sweaty!) YayaDUB apologized to her too. “Lola, pasensiya po.” (Granny, I’m sorry.) Lola Nidora had to be sure. “Check natin yung diary.” (Let’s check the diary.) Donya Tidora held the diary as Lola Nidora flipped the pages. Donya Tinidora excused herself to find the toilet. Lola Nidora found the page. “Ang alahasan ay makikita sa tapat ng isang salamin. Malaking salamin. May nakita akong salamin kanina.” (The jewelry box is seen by a mirror. A big mirror. I saw a mirror awhile ago.)
Donya Tidora pointed at the mirror that scared the sisters earlier in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. She pointed at it. Lola Nidora found someone to ask for the mirror. “Excuse me po. Ito po ba yung salamin na malaki?” (Excuse me please. Is this the big mirror?) The camera zoomed in to what Lola Nidora was talking to. A skull with eyeballs. Lola Nidora thought it answered. Only to find out it was Donya Tinidora back from the toilet. Donya Tinidora then corrected her on which mirror. “Yung salamin, nasa tapat ng piano.” (The mirror is by the piano.)
Lola Nidora saw the piano though. But she’s looking for the jewelry box. Not the piano. Donya Tinidora was seen at the background messing with the smoke machine in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. YayaDUB still didn’t think it was the right room though. She pointed at a door claiming it had the mirror with the jewelry box. Lola Nidora entered and saw a full-length mirror. That’s when YayaDUB confirmed that it was the big mirror in her dream.
The full-length mirror did not have a desk. So they had to look at anything that the full-length mirror faced. In the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode, the full-length mirror faced a cupboard. On top of the cupboard was an altar. Alden and YayaDUB then removed a few cobwebs to look closer. Lola Nidora saw the keyhole. “Alden, may susian. Susian mo.” (Alden, there’s a keyhole. Unlock it.) Alden still held the keys. So he tried one of them on the keyhole. Donya Tidora got too excited again. She accidentally stepped on Lola Nidora’s foot.
Alden got to unlock the cupboard. He opened it. Lola Nidora pointed at an object for Alden to pick up. It was the jewelry box earlier mentioned in the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Lola Nidora confirmed it. “Nakuha na natin!” (We got it!) Everyone was happy. Big Bang’s “Fantastic Baby” started playing again. Lola Nidora was teary-eyed at the realization. Another blackout followed. Donya Tinidora prompted Lola Nidora to go before the lights went on again. “Ate! Alis na tayo!” (Elder sister, let’s go!) YayaDUB felt nauseous. “Sumasama na po yung pakiramdam ko dito. Umalis na po tayo.” (I am starting to feel bad here. Let’s go.)
The entourage scampered their way out of the house at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Donya Tinidora wasn’t too thrilled about the experience. “Ang alam ko, Halloween ngayon. Para tayong nagpenitensiya.” (I know that it’s Halloween today. It was as if we did our Lenten penitence.) Lola Nidora doesn’t get the ghostly possessions. “Bakit kaya ganun ang nangyari? Palagi naman nating binibisita ang lola. Hindi ako naniniwala na ang lola yun na nananakot sa atin. Pinagdadasal natin yun.” (Why did it happen like that? We always visit grandmother. I don’t believe it is grandmother scaring us. We pray for her.) Lola Nidora then called on the Rogelio Rogelio Rogelio for the candle. She then chose a spot to light the candle. She dedicated it to the lost souls in need of prayers in their grandmother’s house.
Alden then asked YayaDUB if she’s okay. She said yes. They feel freer to exchange DUBsmash tracks now at the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Donya Tinidora tried to stop them though. Lola Nidora agreed. “Kayong dalawa naman. Kanina pa kayo DUBsmash nang DUBsmash. Natatakot na kami. Nagawa nyo pang mag-DUBsmash. Wow! Ang tindi nyo!” (You two. You’ve been DUBsmashing since awhile ago. We’re getting scared. And you could still DUBsmash. Wow! You’re extreme!) YayaDUB apologized.
In the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. Donya Tidora had to ask for the jewelry box’s contents. “Ano ba ang laman ng alahasan na yan? Pinaghirapan natin yang kunin. Tapos hindi naman natin bubuksan?” (What is in that jewelry box? We worked hard to get that. Then we won’t open it?) Lola Nidora then prodded Alden to open it. Inside was a scroll. Lola Nidora then told Alden to read it. “Ikaw na ang magbasa, hijo. Di ko nadala ang salamin ko.” (Read it, son. I didn’t get my glasses.) Donya Tinidora retorted. “Dati ka namang nagbabasa nang walang salamin.” (You read without glasses even before today.)
Alden opened the scroll and started reading in behalf of the viewers of the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode. “Kung sinuman ang makakakuhang muli nito, nararapat na ibigay mo ito sa nagpapatibok ng puso mo. Sa taong gusto mong makasama forever. Ang taong gusto mong alayan ng pag-ibig na wagas na walang katapusan. Wala man ito sa kamay ng iyong pinakamamahal. Sa mga oras ng pagaalinlangan. Isuot ang singsing para ipaalala na meron naman talagang totoong pag-ibig. At ang bawat pagsubok ang magpapatibay nito.”
(Whoever reclaims this should be given to the one that makes your heart beat. To the person that you wanted to be with forever. To the person whom you wanted to offer love eternal and endless. While this may not be in the hands of your beloved. In times of doubt. Wear this ring to be reminded that there really is true love. And every obstacle will strengthen this.)
Alden then checked the jewelry box again for the ring mentioned in the scroll. He dug deeper in the little jewelry box and found the ring. He accidentally dropped it. Upon picking it up though, he knelt down before YayaDUB. Before he could ask YayaDUB to wear the ring, the truck horn honked off. Pushing the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode to another cliffhanger.
If the weekly weeksary celebrations only celebrated the day Alden and YayaDUB met, could the ring finally be the dealmaker? Tune in to Eat Bulaga. Monday to Saturday at noontime. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode replay.
Old-fashioned true love complete with obstacles that almost rivaled Herculean tasks. At least the ALDUB Bahay Ni Lola episode has YayaDUB beside Alden along with the Kalye’s Angels for the “house raid”. With Halloween past us, what other tasks would be next for Alden to overcome? Don’t give them suggestions. Just remind them of the 12 days of Christmas. And they’ll know where to go from there. Also, follow us on our social media accounts for feedback and suggestions. Like our official Facebook page, The Philippines Web. And follow us on Twitter @pinasamazing. We’d be expecting you.
