[ALDUB First Condition Featured Image from Eat Bulaga Facebook Page.] The ALDUB First Condition episode opened with a big band. Donya Tidora was playing the trumpet. Donya Tinidora was twirling the baton like a majorette beside Donya Tidora. The Cuando Cuando Cuando played the rest of the instruments while dancing. In front of the marching band was Lola Nidora. She didn’t know whether to be the other majorette or be the orchestra conductor by default.
Donya Tidora is very happy with the theme at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Bongga! Puro musical instruments ang peg natin today.” (Awesome! We’re all into musical instruments today.) Lola Nidora then wondered what are all of these instruments for again. “Mangangaroling ba tayo?” (Are we caroling?) Donya Tinidora reminded Lola Nidora the reason behind the intro. “Hindi. Yan yung dahil sa mga naisip ni Maine. Nakakaloka yang apo mo. May pa-condition pang nalalaman.” (No. This is because of Maine’s idea. You’re grand-child is nuts. She gives conditions now.)
Upon closer look, the Cuando Cuando Cuando’s instruments were pots and pans. And they’re wearing their barongs again. Bossing Vic openly wondered about their presence at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Buhay pa ba ang mga yan?” (Are they still alive?) Donya Tinidora can’t give a straight answer. “Kami nga rin, Bossing, nagtataka. Pero iba ang amoy ha? Amoy formalin.” (Bossing, we wonder about it too. But they smelled different. They smelled like formalin.) Donya Tidora can get by with the smell. “At least hindi amoy patay.” (At least they don’t smell like corpses.)
Donya Tidora also found this to be helpful to Alden’s personal improvement. “On a positive note, may bagong matututunan si Alden.” (Alden will learn something new.) Donya Tinidora can also see Divina’s reason behind the condition. “Puede silang mag-jamming ni Yaya. Alam mo naman si Yaya. Tumugtog yan. Nag-drum na yan.” (They of nanny can jam together. You know nanny. She has played drums before.) Donya Tinidora was referring to Maine Mendoza’s performance at the EB Dabarkads Pa More episode and the wildcard battle she had against Alden Richards himself.
As expected in the ALDUB First Condition episode. Lola Nidora was skeptical. “Eh ang tanong. Matuto kaya si Alden?” (The question is this. Will Alden learn?) Donya Tidora believed that Alden can. “Naku, ate. Sana naman kakayanin niya yun. Maganda gagawin niyang inspiration ang apo nating si Divina.” (Please, elder sister. I hope he would endure it. It would be great for him to be inspired of Divina.) Donya Tidora can’t help but be overly excited again at the ALDUB First Condition episode. Lola Nidora partly hoped about it too. “Sana nga. Sana matuto.” (I hope so. I hope he learns.)
Donya Tinidora thought that the easiest instrument for Alden would be the trumpet. It can be played without the instrument itself. That’s when Bossing Vic himsel started playing the invisible trumpet several times at the ALDUB First Condition episode. Donya Tinidora stood up several times to prepare for the dance. Only for Bossing Vic to stop the trumpeting in time. Soon Donya Tinidora’s knees betrayed her. “Ano ba yan? Ipapaopera ko na yung isang tuhod ko.” (Oh dear! I have to get my knee operated on.) Allan K thought what injury it could be. “Torn ACL?”
Later, an SUV horn was then heard on the background. It was followed by Divna a.k.a. YayaDUB enterting the ALDUB First Condition episode to the tune of Owl City’s “Good Time”. She then paid her respects to the grannies. Lola Nidora thought of the music-accompanied entrances as a good thing. “Maganda. Dapat naimbento na yung ganyan. Pag may dumarating, sa halip na doorbell, tutugtog na lang.” (I think it’s a great idea to have such a tool invented. Whenever somebody arrives, instead of a doorbell, you’d hear music booming.)
Lola Nidora can see the happiness in Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB. “Divina, ang saya-saya mo ano?” (Divina, you look excited, aren’t you?) Divina replied. “Lola, excited lang po ako na malaman kung ano ang instrumentong tutugtugin ni Alden.” (Granny, I am just excited to know which instrument will Alden play.) Donya Tinidora didn’t like it that Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB is starting to act like Lola Nidora at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Ano ka ba naman, Yaya? Tinalo mo pa tong si ate. Me pa-challenge-challenge ka din. Ano ngayon ang pagaaralan ni Alden na mga instrumento? Alam mo namang walang alam na tugtugin yun. Ang alam nun, kumanta.” (What are you thinking, nanny? You’re getting worse than elder sister. You demand challenges now. What instrument will Alden play now? You know that he can’t play any. What he does good is singing.) Donya Tidora even mentioned Alden’s recent achievement. “Platinum nga yun eh.” (He just received a platinum award for his album.) Donya Tinidora corrected her. “Double platinum.”
Divina justified her condition demanded from Alden. “Eh, Lola, kasi naman po, kung gusto niyang makuha yung OO ko talaga, magtityaga siyang mag-aral.” (But, granny, if he really wanted to capture my YES, he would be diligent enough to learn.) Donya Tidora asked Divina at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Kapag natugtog na niya, ooo ka na?” (If he learned how to play, will you say yes?) Only Lola Nidora is pleased. “Divina, may nalalaman ka pang musical instruments ha? Ako nga pinatakbo ko lang sa EDSA. Tapos na agad. ” (Now you know some musical instruments too, huh? All I had to ask of him was to run at EDSA. Done.)
Boss Joey had a little speculation at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Pagkatapos ng isang instrument, another instrument. Pagdating ng third condition, another instrument. Tapos papapuestuhin niya sa EDSA si Alden” (After learning one instrument, [Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB would ask Alden to learn] another instrument. Come the third condition, another instrument. Then she would put Alden along EDSA [to play beside the blind musicians begging for alms].) Donya Tinidora somewhat agreed on Boss Joey’s speculation at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Ganun din. EDSA pa rin ang bagsakan.” (Same thing. He ends up at EDSA.)
Donya Tidora then tested if Lola Nidora still remembered the things that she made Alden do to see Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB. Lola Nidora still remembers them. “Di ba? Pinasisid ko siya sa swimming pool. Maganda nakaligo pa siya.” (Isn’t it? I made him dive to the swimming pool [at the ALDUB MaiDen Heaven episode]. He even got refreshed with that.) Boss Joey had to ask Divina a.k.a. YayaDUB why this test. “Bakit yun ang pinasubok ni Yaya kay Alden?” (Why did you pick that challenge for Alden?) Divina stuck to her reason at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Para po masubok ang pasensya niya sa pagaaral ng instrumento. Napakahirap po nun.” (So that his patience will be tested. It’s very hard.)
Donya Tinidora then had to ask Divina’s point of view about learning how to play. “Nagawa mo na yun. Ibig sabihin puedeng maubos ang pasensiya mo.” (You have done it before. Meaning your patience can run out.) Divina said yes. Donya Tinidora asked again at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Sa tingin mo mahihirapan siya?” (You think he will have difficulty in this?) Divina thought of it as a possibility. Lola Nidora thought Alden should start with the basics. “Dapat mapag-aralan ni Alden yung mag-DO RE MI.” (Alden should learn DO RE MI first.)
Since Lola Nidora mentioned basic notes at the ALDUB First Condition episode. Boss Joey then asked. “Itanong mo nga kay Tidora kung magaling siya sa nota.” (Will you ask Tidora if she’s good with notes.) Donya Tinidora asked Donya Tidora for a singing sample. Donya Tidora then said. “Woo! Magaling ako sa nota kasi choir ako.” (I’m good with notes since I’m with the choir.) She then sung an excerpt from Regine Velasquez’s cover of Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing”
Alden Richards then appeared on the other monitor. When Divina asked him which instruments had he been trying to learn. Alden showed the tambourine, the maracas and the keyboard. Baste sat on the keyboard as his “instructor”. Since Divina has not mentioned any particular instrument as of the ALDUB First Condition episode. Alden tried learning as many as possible. “Ang dami kong pagpipilian. Di ko pa kasi alam ang gamay ko eh.” (I have so many to choose from. I don’t know yet which instrument works for me.)
Divina asked Alden. “Wala bang tambuli?” (Don’t you have a water buffalo horn there?) She saw the bongo drum and the guitar close to Alden’s den. Alden mentioned that he is expecting some help later at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Mamaya, darating yung mga dabarkads kasi full support daw sila.” (Later the dabarkads will come over for the full support.)
Alden liked Divina’s hairstyle at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Kamusta naman yang pigtails mo?” (So how are your pigtails?) Divina used a 90’s reference to credit her look. “Judy Abbott. Hindi mo ba nagustuhan?” (Don’t you like it?) Alden liked it. “Maganda. Bagay sa iyo.” (Beautiful. Looks good on you.) Divina thought of something else. “Ako. Mas bagay ako sa yo.” (I look good with you.) Donya Tinidora had to interject in the sweetness. “Yun naman pala eh. Ba’t pinapahirapan mo pa?” (So there. Why are you making it hard for him?)
Alden then changed the topic “May tanong ako. Susi ka ba?” (I have a question. Are you a KEY?) Divina asked why. Alden asked again. “Puede ba kitang i-KEYS?” (May I KEYS you?) Lola Nidora heard Alden. So Alden had to backtrack here. “Lola, joke lang po.” (Granny, just kidding.) Lola Nidora’s facial expression at the ALDUB First Condition changed upon hearing “Joke lang po”.
Divina got a little worried upon seeing too many instruments. Alden might not choose easily in this point at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Kahit marami naman akong pagpilian, alam ko naman ang gusto ko kapag nakita ko na.” (Even if I have a lot of choices. I know what I want once I see it.) Alden switched to DUBsmash mode by using Ronnie Liang’s “Ngiti”. Divina replied by DUBsmashing Yeng Constantino’s “Chinito”. It was a cute DUBsmash exchange at the ALDUB First Condition episode.
Alden then tested his memory. Donya Tinidora suggested that he play. “Happy birthday muna. Madali yan.” (Try playing happy birthday first. It’s easy.) Donya Tidora has a different suggestion at the ALDUB First Condition episode complete with key guide. “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. 1 1 5 5 6 6 5.” Divina recognized the keys that Donya Tidora mentioned. “Sa cellphone ata yun eh.” (They sound like cellphone keys.)
Bossing Vic Sotto had other ideas though. “Banatan mo ng isang Beethoven diyan. Yung Flight of the Bumblebee.” (Hit it with some Beethoven. [Or] Flight of the Bumblebee.) He ended up playing some notes from the intro “Love is All That Matters”. It was in tune as heard on the ALDUB First Condition episode.
Alden wasn’t giving any excuses that much. “Nagaaral pa po ako, lola, eh. Hinahanap ko pa po kung ano ang mas kaya kong gawin.” (I’m learning, granny. I’m still looking for what I really wanted to do.) Lola Nidora knew how Alden survived harsher conditions. “Kaya mo yan, Alden. Dapat sisiw na lang yang condition sa ‘yo ni Yaya.” (You can do it, Alden. Nanny’s condition should be chicken feed by now for you.)
Divina’s moral support at the ALDUB First Condition was more forthcoming. “Isipin mo na lang na kapag nagawa mo na, sasagutin na kita.” (Just think that once you have done it, I will answer you.) Alden replied to Divina’s support. “Never ko pang nagawa. Pero para sa ‘yo, pipilitin ko. Kakayanin ko para sa ‘yo.” (I have never done this. But for you, I would push it. I would endure it for you.)
Lola Nidora felt weak. “Parang pinanghihinaan ako tuwing iniisip ko na si Yaya, magkakanobyo na.” (I feel weak every time I think that nanny is now having a boyfriend.) Donya Tinidora agitated Lola Nidora’s neuroses further at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Mas nerbyusin ka kapag si Yaya, magkakanobya na.” (Be nervous if nanny ended up having a girlfriend.) While Alden is thinking over which instrument to focus on, another DUBsmash exchange ensued. The playlist included Daniel Padilla’s “Nasa Yo Na Ang Lahat” (You Have Everything). The grannies then went to their Sugod Bahay errand to leave Alden to think about his choice.
The Sugod Bahay errand at the ALDUB First Condition episode served as an opportunity for soundtrip. Donya Tidora even played the guitar alternately with the winner’s son. She played “Banal Na Aso, Santong Kabayo” (Holy Dog, Saintly Horse) by Yano. They then let the grannies play the guitar after the Sugod Bahay errand for the remainder of the ALDUB First Condition episode.
Alden was then shown learning the keyboard according to Baste’s instructions. He later introduced the rest of the “instructors”. “Ms. Pauleen Luna. Ms. Pia Guanio. Ms. Ruby Rodriguez.” Each of them carried an instrument to help Alden learn at the ALDUB First Condition episode. They all agreed on using chords from Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” for the guitar and ukulele practice sessions. The other song used for the sessions was Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”
Lola Nidora tried to be nice. But she had to be honest to Alden. “Alam mo, Alden, mukhang magkakaproblema ka diyan. Kay Marvic ka magpaturo. Balita ko magaling siya maggitara.” (You know what, Alden? I think you’d get into problems there. Ask Marvic [a.k.a. Bossing Vic Sotto] to teach you. I was told that he is great at playing the guitar.)
Bossing Vic was hesitant to teach Alden at the ALDUB First Condition episode. “Lola, mga classic ang mga alam ko. Mga Schubert, mga Chekhovsky.” (Granny, the tunes I know are the classics. Like Schubert and Chekhovsky.) Being the obedient young man that he is. Alden then approached the KalyeSerye commentary panel to personally ask Bossing Vic.
Bossing Vic checked his own memory once he gets handed his own guitar to play. Allan K let Alden sit beside Bossing Vic to copy his strumming at the ALDUB First Condition episode. Bossing Vic then remembered one of the songs of his time – Asin’s “Dukha” (Poor). “Ako ay isang anak mahirap. Lagi na lang akong nagsusumikap. Grade 1 lang ang inabot ko. No read no write pa ko. Paano na ngayon ang buhay ko?” (I am a poor man’s son. I always strive. I only finished Grade 1. I can’t read nor write. What will happen to my life?)
Boss Joey remembered this song too. It was one of the songs that the TVJ parodied in their Tough Hits’ compilation. And he still remembered the lyrics being one of the lyricists. [The lyrics that were used at the ALDUB First Condition were slightly paraphrased by now.] “Ako ay isang anak mayaman. Ako ay hindi nagsusumikap. Anim lahat ang kotse ko. Anim lahat ng bahay ko. Anim na buwan na lang ang buhay ko.” (I am rich man’s son. I don’t strive. I have 6 cars. I have 6 houses. I have 6 months left to live.)
Allan K then eventually joined in. He found it easy to come up with lyrics on the spot. “Ako ay isang anak ng unggoy. Lagi na lang sa puno lumalaboy. Saging lang ang kinain ko. Akala pa nila, tao ako. Kinain ko pati na ang buto.” (I am a monkey’s son. I always hang out by the tree. I only ate a banana. I got mistaken for a human being. I ate even the seeds.) Alden tried to reveal what he planned to sing once he has learned how to play. Too bad, the truck horn honked off. The ALDUB First Condition episode ended before Alden could pick a song.
How good can Alden learn the songs in time? Tune in to Eat Bulaga. Monday to Saturday at noontime. Like Eat Bulaga’s official Facebook page to catch the ALDUB First Condition episode.
ALDUB First Condition episode showed the potential for the improv approach to be given a musical spin. You’ve got lyricists like Boss Joey de Leon and improv veterans like Jose Manalo and Wally Bayola. And you can only imagine how many more songs can they parody. Alden and Maine can definitely absorb that kind of talent in no time. The succeeding episode recaps will then reveal how Ms. Jenny Ferre and the rest of the Eat Bulaga creative committee can capitalize on this. So follow us on our social media accounts on Facebook and Twitter while you can. We’d be expecting you.